1. Does it all hinge on a professional hone?
Most if not all the guys here would say a properly honed razor will give you the best chance of sucess, though don't expect miracles overnight.
2. Why is lathering so hard?
What are you doing and what are you doing it with? A starting point will give us something to expand on.
3. If I have already nicked the hell out of my strop, then should I just get a new one? Will the nicks mess up my blade?
Post some pics, but it'll probably be ok, at least until you stop damaging the one you have, mine has a lot of minor nicks that I just tidied up.
4. I'm an over-achiever. Is part of this learning experience a lesson in humility that will ultimately pay off?
Yes as far as i am concerned. As i said before dont expect miracles overnight, in fact sometimes my face didnt heal over night.
am i just going through the normal growing pangs of learning this art.
Again yes.
Don't panic, it can take a while, I am not there yet, but that's just me, some guys get it quickly, and some take a lot longer.