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Thread: Clean jokes

  1. 04-14-2019, 07:51 PM #461
    JP5
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    Quote Originally Posted by holli4pirating View Post
    Did you hear about the T-rex that was arrested for firearms sales? He was a small arms dealer.
    Reminds me of scene in Meet the Robinsons where the T-Rex can't reach the boy.

    Villain : What's wrong? Why aren't you seizing the boy?!

    T-Rex : I've got a big head and little arms. I'm not sure how well this plan was thought out....
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  2. 04-14-2019, 07:56 PM #462
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    Our house is as Neil left it- an Aladdin’s cave of 'stuff'.

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  4. 04-14-2019, 08:22 PM #463
    Geezer
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    Boy at zoo:
    Mommy, mommy, that big animal is picking cabbages with its tail. .. . And you won't believe where it's putting them!
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    Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.
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  5. 04-14-2019, 09:40 PM #464
    Haroldg48
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    "I grew up all my life believing I was Irish, but thanks to Ancestry.com, I now know I’m just a drunk."
    Just call me Harold
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    A bad day at the beach is better than a good day at work!
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  6. 04-14-2019, 09:49 PM #465
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haroldg48 View Post
    "I grew up all my life believing I was Irish, but thanks to Ancestry.com, I now know I’m just a drunk."
    Name: Moving Smiley.gif Views: 143 Size: 8.4 KB
    Name: Laughing Chimp.gif Views: 139 Size: 34.0 KB
    Name: irish-men-drinking-animated.gif Views: 134 Size: 20.5 KB
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    Our house is as Neil left it- an Aladdin’s cave of 'stuff'.

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  7. 04-20-2019, 02:06 PM #466
    CamaroZ28
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    What type of socks do pirates wear? Arrrgyle socks

    Why did the banana go to the doctor? He wasn't peeling well.

    Two mushrooms walk into a bar. One says to the bartender give me a double shot of your best vodka. The bartender looks down his nose at then and says in a condescending manner. We don't serve your kind here. The second mushroom pipes up and says why not we're fun guys!

    "Rice is good when you're hungry and want 2,000 of something" Mitch Hedberg
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  8. 04-26-2019, 10:26 PM #467
    thebigspendur
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    Why did the sesame seed refuse to leave the casino?




    He was on a roll.
    No matter how many men you kill you can't kill your successor-Emperor Nero
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  9. 04-26-2019, 10:51 PM #468
    tintin
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    My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.
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  10. 05-15-2019, 10:05 PM #469
    tintin
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    If a tree falls in the forest and nobody hears, that means that my illegal logging business is a success!
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  11. 05-16-2019, 02:10 AM #470
    JP5
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    Quote Originally Posted by tintin View Post
    My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.
    Haha. They make a difference.

    HELP A THIEF!
    &
    HELP, A THIEF!
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    - Joshua
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