A Poem With Zero Cursing

I wrote this as a commentary to some corporate changes at a medical device manufacturer where I worked for seventeen years. I hope you all enjoy it.

The Animals Have Taken Over The Zoo
B.R.Moroni

It was Tuesday 1981 (or was it 1893?)
The day I took the children to the zoo
The animals to see
We all went down to the zoo
The animals to see

When we arrived (the kids and I),
I noticed something wrong.
Selling tickets, a snake looked me in the eye
He must have been twelve feet long.
The snake was a good twelve feet long!

Now he may have been a very good snake
That is, as good as can be at that.
However, a ticket seller he’d never make,
Having no hands, he’d fail off the bat
With no hands he failed right off the bat.

So in through the gates we walked for free
(No tickets were sold that day.)
On to the monkey house went the kids and me.
But the monkeys had all run away
Those monkeys had all run away!

In the cage where once was an orange macaque,
Sat a sad little girl from the south.
Her hair was long and shiny and black
She stuffed banana bits into her mouth
She stuffed all sorts of fruit in her mouth.

The chimpanzees and the lemurs were also all gone
The tamarinds disappeared too.
They were cleaning the rest rooms totally wrong!
(You know how monkeys throw poo)
Those monkeys were all throwing poo.

We left the monkey house quick as we could.
The monkeys were out of control.
To see the big cats would be very good.
So to the Cat House we all took a stroll.
To the Cat House the kids and I strolled.


As we approached the Cat House door,
A big fat man knocked me down.
He said, "Run for your life!” as we lie on the floor.
"The tigers are walking around!"
"Lions and tigers are walking around!"

Well, (thought I), perhaps we’ll detour
And go get a nice lemon ice.
The big cats we can visit later for sure.
Beside, being eaten wouldn’t be very nice.
Getting eaten just couldn’t be nice.

On down the path walked the kids and I.
Off to find the concession stand.
Feeling somewhat relieved that we didn’t die
I thought, "A hamburger might taste just grand"
Yes a hamburger certainly would be grand.


When we got to the stand a lion stood there
Asking us what we’d each like to eat.
Nervously I asked for a hamburg and a beer
He said, "Sorry but I ate all the meat"
That darned lion ate all the meat.

The porcupines popped all the balloons.
The sloth misdirected traffic.
The trash was scattered by the baboons,
I must restrain from becoming too graphic.
You don’t want a description so graphic.

All in all the day was a waste.
We were lucky, this trip to survive.
The animals had each to be put back in its place.
And the visitors must go home by five.
All the visitors had gone home by five.