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Tough call, Zib. You have to judge whether your health is suffering enough to walk or keep the status quo.
I don't know how depressed your lady friend gets but maybe don't leave any sharp implements lying around, not just your favourite razors, for both your sakes.
Hmmm... This thread is striking a chord with a good few men I am sure. My previous wife never had an obvious hormonal time on a monthly basis - she was just slightly off kilter all the time. My present wife is fantastic, kind, loving thoughtful and persevering - I am fairly selfish and quite sarcastic, but obviously have some other redeeming features.
For one day, sometimes two, she becomes a bunny boiler and hates even the way I breath. I have talked to her at the time and then paid a visit to A&E to get fixed up (only joking - but nearly). We have discussed afterwards and gone to see the Doc but they dismiss it as just something that happens. That reminds me of the cartoon where a woman is saying ' I have PMT therfore can legally kill you'. Does it have to get to that before medical staff try and do something - it all seems a bit of a joke.
Anyway - my dearest (and believe me she is - a great woman indeed) is currently 4 months pregnant and I can be fairly sure she will be fine now for some time, going on previous. However, for the first three months she was hormonally imbalanced at least a couple of days a week. And me with a thesis to finish. Hormones, can't live with them, can't live with them.... However, having experienced a depressive illness about a decade ago I can imagine how it must feel - going by the obvious symptoms. It is torture - I wish there was something more that could be done to balance things out better for women who suffer every month (and some for more than half of each month). PMT needs to be more widely accepted as a medical issue and not something that everybody just has to make the best of.
cheers
Stephen
Wow, I'll say what I'm deeply trouble by. pansy a** crap about not making jokes because they are sexist, and definitely definitely about being the person to help somebody possibly imbalanced?!?!?!?! I'll call it right now BULL S*#T.
First of all, people should be able to joke about whatever the hell they damn well feel like. everybody should watch carlos mencia, he's right, we have a society where everybody is afraid to offend anybody else. the guys were obviously joking.
the only thing that bothered me about all of it was throwing it all off on PMS. first off, there are lots of women that have this emotional roller coaster regardless of time of month, my mom was/is one, my friends wife is, my wife's friend is. bipolar and manic depressive are the same I believe. and this can be triggered by many things. sometimes a person will be manic (high) for a long long time, then all of a sudden be depressive. in my mom's case she has gotten to where the downs are lasting longer and the ups shorter.
nobody, guy or girl, should ever put up with another person that is that much maintenance, not ever. it is never ever worth it, no matter what you think. if you don't have kids with a person, the only reason compelling enough to suffer for years on end, then there is no reason to punish yourself. My uncle was married for 37 years, and unhappy most of it, because he believed (seeds sown by her) that his wife was a paranoid schizophrenic (sorry for spelling) because of giving birth to their daughter.
My dad stayed with my mom to keep my brother and I from being brought up by somebody so wacky. he was miserable the whole time. we've been out of the house 13 and 11 years respectively. he called me tonight upset over her total lack of touch with reality. she too refuses to see doctors, and when she sees them for "anxiety disorder" conveniently forgets much of the information that would be valuable to a good diagnosis. when she's been medicated better before, to handle the extreme swings, she stops taking it because "i don't have as much energy, I don't feel the same". um yeah, cause you were manic and it's bringing you down to a normal human level.
these people create chaos not just with their girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse but with everybody else in their family and all of their friends. my wife's friend (whom she now hasn't talked to in 3 years) lost her job because of her lunacy (not because she had a problem, but because of the behaviours the problem manifested). my uncle's ex-wife, she's been in a facility for a couple of years and likely will never get out. its hereditary, her sister and mom both same thing, her grandson, my cousin. yeah, jail for 2 years, kid can't ever keep things straight, he was already in jail when he turned 18.
why telling all this? if you aren't the doctor you aren't required to treat the patient. My wife is great, she seldom has emotional moments, it isn't tied to the time of month (other than being shutdown when I try stuff I can't even tell when its that time for her). I've known other women like her. the PMS in my opinion is often used as an excuse. can hormones and pain affect a persons mood, of course, but they still choose how they're going to behave.
my friend's wife, yeah, she's just SUPER emotional, about every frickin' thing. sweetest person, just too emotional. some people are built that way.
but I'll recall BS on PC and say it again on stick it out and it might be you're not doing enough for her. there's a reason you have to pay a psychiatrist or psychologist to help you, because its a crap job. and unless you are one of those professions and the person is committed to help you can't do anything anyways.
and by the way, i work with 30+ women, they make jokes and talk smack on guys all the time like you wouldn't believe. they have no problem with PC until it is directed at them.
a question, if you're worried about your razors, have you had something in the past she messed up to spite you? sounds like it, or a previous girlfriend.
Red
Is she HOT?
Don't hold back, Red. Just let it all out… and breathe:tu.Quote:
Originally Posted by Big Red
Yes. Yes, we are.Quote:
Originally Posted by zib
We're all crazy.
We're all the same, dincha know? ("didn't you know" for non-Americans.) We're all little Barbie dolls who go completely berserk on account of our hormones. Only solution is for you to either go gay or go celibate.
How did we get to be so crazy? I'm glad you asked!
Because we fixed a wonderful dinner for our man, and waited for him to come home and enjoy it...and waited...and waited...and waited.... :shrug:
And then finally, after we fell asleep on the couch, worried sick he'd been in a car wreck, we were woken up by the sounds of him drunkenly lurching and slamming the door and hollering, "Hey, baby, I'm baaack, gimme a beer, willya, there's a replay of a game I wanna see on the ESPN5003 channel!" :mace:
When we started to mention the nice dinner we fixed, we were interrupted--as usual--with a wave of his hand. "Naw, baby, I ain't hungry, me and Lisa--uh, I mean me and the GUYS--we already ate tons of pizza, double-meat bacon-stuffed cheeseburgers, Super Extra Grande Nachos and I'm stuffed." :gaah:
"Oh, and listen up, baby--you missed a spot on the floor here where the cat barfed so get out the vacuum cleaner right now and fix it, 'cause my buddies are 10 minutes behind me and I don't want 'em to think I live in a dump or anything." :rant:
This, my friend, is why we're crazy. Because y'all made us this way!
:rofl2::rofl2::rofl2:
(Damn, that was fun--somebody ask me another one!)
Now for the serious, constructive advice... :D
Guys, when you see your girlfriend or wife crying, the BEST thing to do at that point is to go over to her slowly, wrap her gently in her arms, and hold her. You don't have to say a word...
In fact, if you don't know what we're crying about, it's probably best that you DON'T say anything.
Once we feel physically and emotionally loved and supported by you holding us, we will then (usually) spill our guts about what's wrong. :cry:
If you encounter any resistance as you're coming over to put your arms around us, then stop immediately. Just stand there and put a very sympathetic look on your face.
The resistance means...
1. You did something bad.
2. You failed to do something...and that's bad
3. She THINKS #1 or #2, even if it is not true.
IMPORTANT: After you've listened to her (which is what she wants you to do), and you start talking, do what the guy suggests in the "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" book (which I highly recommend, since it is a fair book--tells men what they need to know about women, AND tells women what we need to know about men.)
What does the book say?
It says that when your woman is crying, and she starts telling you all her problems and why she is upset, the #1 most important thing for you to do is LISTEN and empathize with her. (Assuming the problems are not things that are your fault.) :hmmm:
What she does NOT want at that point is a solution to the problem. Unfortunately, that's exactly what most men are hard-wired to produce: solutions. You are natural problem-solvers, and most of the time that's great.
Another man would be glad you gave him a solution, right?
But when your woman is crying and upset, what she wants and needs MOST at that point is to be heard and feel supported. The solutions can come later.
Here's an example of how to do the right thing:
YOUR WIFE: "I'm so upset because today at work my boss told me not to ever use the company email to send a quick note to my best friend! And he was so mean about it..." (breaks down into tears.)
YOU: "Wow, I can't believe he did that, that was really cruel." (Give her a hug.) "They shouldn't treat you like that--you deserve better. And besides, it only takes, what...a minute?...to send your friend a quick note. I don't see why it's any big deal." :rock:
HER: (Smiles up at you through her tears) "Thanks, honey, that makes me feel better!" (She stops crying and then has good feelings towards YOU!)
Here's an example of how to do the WRONG thing:
YOUR WIFE: "I'm so upset because today at work my boss told me not to ever use the company email to send a quick note to my best friend! And he was so mean about it..." (breaks down into tears.)
YOU: "Well, here's what you do, just go to the XYZ site and download their free demo (scrambler/ghost thing)--it cloaks your ISP so your boss and IT people won't know what you're doing. Here, sit down at my computer and I'll show you how it works, since--" :jedi:
HER: "Have you been listening to a WORD I've been saying???" (Now it's worse--she's gone from straight-up upset to upset and mad--and the mad is at YOU because from her point of view, you don't get it. :rant:
On another note, would it kill anyone reading this to give me a "thanks?" I got none right now. Help a gal out, OK? :tu
Now that my friends is damn funny. HHHMMMM, sounds like a buddy of mine your talking about. Thanks for the laugh Tam.Quote:
Originally Posted by YesSheDoes!
Well zib, you asked for it! I was waiting for some lady on the forum to lay into you like yesshedoes did, and rightfully so!Quote:
Originally Posted by YesSheDoes!
In speaking so poorly about the"love of your life", and complaining so openly about her, you expose your lack of love for her, and your lack of judgement! these sorts of problems should be kept between you and her and should be worked out accordingly! in short, stop complaining, you chose her, now, learn to love her or let her go and not get another girlfriend until you are willing to make the comitment necessary to learn to love!
Quote:
Originally Posted by YesSheDoes!
O.K. - is 5 different shampoos really necessary?