The joy of Children

So I know that many of you have children or are starting a family. I thought a thread to share funny stories or the crazy things that your kids do would be a good way to prepare the new dads for the carnage that awaits them.

I'll start.

This weekend my one year old was in rare form. He is learning his words and one of his favorites is "boogie" which he pronounces "bgie". So he walks up to me and grabs my arm and brings my arm to his face at which point I thought he was going to give me a raspberry. Instead he blew his nose on my arm leaving a huge boogie on my arm. He then took two steps back, smiled and said "bgie, bgie, ick". I smiled and laughed with him and said "Yes, it is" He laughed more. He then started singing "bgie, bgie ick". My older son wanted to copy his younger brother, I told him to go get a tissue.

Oh yes boys are fun, in a gross sorta way.

I haven't any kids yet, so i struggle to comprehend how parents are able to deal with that kind of thing! I guess you have to love your own!

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Originally Posted by ben.mid

I haven't any kids yet, so i struggle to comprehend how parents are able to deal with that kind of thing! I guess you have to love your own!

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Since humans, as a species, are generally not cannibals; you either love them or eat them. So since we do not eat them, we love them.

Once you get through the first diapers and the spit up/vomit. Nothing phases you any more.

mine 4yo was angry at me the other day and said
" GEEZ HONEY !!":rant:

pretty funny, now that is off limits to the wife, just like I can't curse any more

now I've started asking her to repeat annoying stuff her mom says so that I can snuff out those sayings

" GEEZ HONEY !!"

OHHH! Snap. Moms in trouble.

I know that my 4yo is in the parrot stage now. He cares not one fig who he repeats anything to. Let me tell you that can be awkward.

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Originally Posted by gratewhitehuntr

just like I can't curse any more

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the last time I was guilt tripped into watching my nephews (all 4 at once, for an entire 4 day weekend!) I decided to retaliate by utilizing that very same phenomenon.

needless to say, their extremely religious mother wasn't amused to find out that I had used the parrot principle combined with operant conditioning by giving them candy to reinforce certain behaviors.

namely, throwing up the horns and yelling "hail satan!" whenever they heard rock music of any kind. she had a hell of a time undoing that.

I'm not asked to babysit anymore :mace: I've decided I shouldn't have children as long as I view them as pets.

When thinking about my own kids I always remember the curse Bill Cosby's mother put on him. "One of these days you are going to have children just like you!" I think Bill's mother and my own know each other and plot against us.

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Originally Posted by jockeys

the last time I was guilt tripped into watching my nephews (all 4 at once, for an entire 4 day weekend!) I decided to retaliate by utilizing that very same phenomenon.

needless to say, their extremely religious mother wasn't amused to find out that I had used the parrot principle combined with operant conditioning by giving them candy to reinforce certain behaviors.

namely, throwing up the horns and yelling "hail satan!" whenever they heard rock music of any kind. she had a hell of a time undoing that.

I'm not asked to babysit anymore :mace: I've decided I shouldn't have children as long as I view them as pets.

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You should have said that it's ok- Jesus is metal!

Explanation: Penny Arcade! - Der Hornen

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Originally Posted by Quick Orange

You should have said that it's ok- Jesus is metal!

Explanation: Penny Arcade! - Der Hornen

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oh, totally. best comic evar. all kids should read it, I read it aloud to my 2 year old goddaughter so she'll grow up right.

I like children too. I'm particularly fond of the whiners and screamers that parents so delight in bringing to restaurants and then ingore the little darlings when they act out.

I like children, when they're elsewhere. My neighbors seem to be care-givers for 4 of their grandchildren; they have dogs too. From this I have learned that dogs cannot be outdoors unless they are constantly barking and kids cannot run without shouting at the top of their lungs and that they have a great affection for one another which is strangely demonstrated by beating each other with any handy stick, whereupon they then just stand there and scream, at the top of their lungs.

I do so love youth and pets. Bless them, for I believe they have made me the delightful curmudgeon I am.