Walking round Ikea is as close to soul destroying as you get. In the UK, the experience goes something like this:
- get caught up in Saturday traffic trying to get into the middle of nowhere in an industrial estate
- fight for a parking space
- great, I'm already in a bad mood and have yet to set foot inside
- be blinded by the blue and yellow signage, ugh.
- walk into the main entrance, battle with a thoroughly unsatisfactory trolley with wheels that have been set to go in opposite directions
- shout at the kids
- start the long mile walk along those poxy plastic walkways, following the people ahead of you like automotons, stopping every so often to pick up another kitchen object you really don't need or measuring something you only have in inches but everything else is continentally metric
- shout at the kids
- feel bad for shouting at the kids when you realise you've lost them, then double back against the flow of sheep to find them jumping up and down on a bed in some random room
- shout at the kids
- get to the end of eternity only to realise the item you wish to pick up from the warehouse is out of stock, despite being informed it wasn't
- you can see the item, tantalisingly close, but a few pallets up on the racks and are told they will get it down perhaps next week
- start climbing the damn racks like a monkey with your wife calling after you...at this point you just don't care anymore... must... get... that... item...
- feel smug for a nanosecond, then look with horror as you join a queue longer than at Wembley when England are playing
- your soul is nearly gone, only remains to pick up a plate of Swedish meatballs which tips you over the edge as you realised you've just overpaid for a load of bulls' testicles or whatever constitutes the meat in them
- Shout at the kids
- leave the family with the oversized items by the exit while you pick up the car and swing it round to load up, except there's a huge queue for that too.
- back at home, unpack the furniture and realise you are missing pieces, or some are chipped or damaged and you CANNOT face going back to that place :cry:
- shout at the kids
- eat, bath, go to bed, wife will not talk to me.
IKEA is truly the seventh level of Dante's hell. I hate it.