Thebigspendurs Weekly Shaving Brainbuster #20
Good morning shaving fiends
Well, I had just gotten back into the house and was telling the missus how nice it was not having to deal with my relations over the last week. Just then I heard a pickup pull up in front of the house and it was Navajo Joe. I noticed he was wearing a bear skin coat and had a bunch of bear claws strung around his neck.
I said what the heck happened to you. The last we saw you that bear disappeared into the National Forest with you on his back. He said he had some secret Indian big magic weeds he rubbed into the bears back something like locoweed and the bear went crazy and ran for hours. Eventually he was so exhausted he ran at full bore into a tree and killed hisself. That’s how he got the hide and claws as well as a bunch of bear meat.
I told him I hope that bear didn’t have a mate or something because if he did we’ll really be in for it now. We’re already responsible for burning his son.
Joe said on the way over he was almost run off the road by some fool driving some luxury vehicle with a goat next to him in the front seat. I told him that must be Festus. He said I think your right but that goat’s head kept bobbing up and down (if you know what I mean). Joe said that boy ain’t natural.
Just then I heard the geese raising cain and see this figure skulking out behind the chicken coop. So we went to investigate and it was Billy Bob. He had escaped from that government facility. He said they were doing all kinds of evil experiments on him. All of a sudden Joe drops to his knees and starts praying to Billy Bob. I said what you doing Joe. Joe says Billy Bob was transformed into some Indian God and he was going to take him to hide out on the reservation and take care of him. He would be good luck to everyone there and bring the rains and ensure the crops wouldn’t fail. Billy Bob told me this guy they kept calling Mr Vice President would visit him every day in the Government Facility accusing him of being a terrorist and kept pouring water on his face and head yelling confess you devil. He also wanted information about Mr Obama’s phony birth certificate. I told Joe I would check up on him. Joe said he had big Juju now. They left.
Before coming back to the house for dinner I had to collect the General from the main pasture where he was visiting the ladies. When I got there he was chasing that damn goat around and Festus was trying to tip the cows. The general didn’t like that at all and went after him hitting him and throwing him about 10 feet into the air and then stomping him. So now I’ve got to patch that fool up and take him back to the clan and explain how he got all tore up like that. I told him I’m locking that goat in the back of the UPS Truck on the way back.
I did have to invite him in for dinner first though. So when I go into the bathroom I see the idiot there playing with my razors. I said put those down. Too late, he was using a sawing motion on a Norton 1K hone on my Livi Silvano. The edge was toast and now the hone has this huge groove in it. The goat had her head in the window and he was using my Rooney Finest Brush to lather that goat’s face. He said his dad told him he had this really nice custom brush he had made and when he trimmed the hairs on it he had a goat chew the ends off. I got my 12 Gauge and got my rock salt special ammo and the last I saw him and that goat they were running down the road yelling in pain.
So this week’s shaving brainbuster will require you to tell me how to repair that hone and then how do I get the edge redone on my prized razor?
Check baaaaaack on Friday for the salty answers.
