Thebigspendurs Weekly Shaving Brainbuster #25

Good morning shaving fiends.

I had just finished reading to the General his favorite story about Ferdinand the Bull. He always gets choked up at the end. He said he had cornered Billy Bob and that Vice president guy and he told him if he let him go once he took over the country he would be given 1000 virgin cows. The general said he started stomping on Billy Bob and all of a sudden his head exploded and in the commotion the Vice President got away. He wanted to know if I was going to get him his virgins. I said if he didn’t wise up I’d have Ronald Mc Donald come over to take care of him. His picture is still up in the Post Office for that State fair incident.

I told him he would be in charge of the ranch for the next couple of weeks while the clan and the Missus and I went on our usual Christmas trip. So we loaded up the car and headed over to Jethro and they were all waiting for us. We took the Studebaker and Navajo Joe had given us this fancy pickup that Vice President was driving. Festus was already in the back with Baaby. They were already celebrating having a err well you know what I mean.

My mothers, cousins, friends, sister-in-laws, uncles, lawyer’s, aunts, acquaintance had invited us over to her place in Yellowknife, Canada. So off we were. First stop was the town. I had to stop by Deputy Butkiss to make sure he would stop by both ranches to check on things for us. Then Jethro stopped by Sue’s resurrected House of the dead to get the latest vintage road maps so we wouldn’t get lost. Cletus knew the maps were reliable because they had a picture of President Truman on the front. So we loaded up with provisions and Jethro stopped at the gas station. I went in to get some Java and I come out and see Jethro looking down the fuel filler with a lighted match. I said you crazy you want to kill us all. He said the nozzle won’t fit as he started whacking it with a crowbar. The attendant came out and said you need gas for that it runs on propane. So Jethro stopped at the station to get some propane and loaded up a bunch of tanks and got his electric drill to drill some holes so he could pour the propane into the filler but it wouldn’t work either. The owner told him he was an idiot and punched him out and as the other workers came over we all piled out of the vehicles and started beating on each other.

Someone must have called the Police because Deputy Buttkiss came rolling up and started tasering everybody. Baaby jumped out of the truck and attacked the deputy and tore his pants off and started err umm…use your imagination. It was about then Auntie threw her cigar butt out of the window and the whole depot started to go. We all got the hell out of there pronto. We still need to fill the tank with propane though.

I told Jethro to take the U.S Highway North but it wasn’t where it was supposed to be. They built this dang interstate road in its place.

Well as the trip continues this week’s shaving brainbuster concerns shaving preparation. When that depot went up it burnt all the whiskers off of Jethro’s face so it gave him an idea. He thinks if you heat up some rocks and roll them on your face it will Crispin the hair and make it easier to shave. What do you think? Also Cletus says since he forgot to bring his shaving cream he is just using cold water to shave and swears he is getting the best shave of his life? What do you think of that?
Lastly how do we fill that tank with propane? It doesn’t pour very well. Also, yes you’re right there are no clues to the holiday give away and if you’re still looking for them you are the clueless one because the contest already happened.

Check back on Friday for the answers and congratulations to Shooter for winning the Brush. I think Baaaby wants to use it one more time before it goes out.

Well since we had the reorganization and were at the bottom of the heap here we'll forgive you guys for not checking in this week but don't let it happen again otherwise Cletus is going to have to come over and hurt you.

Oh the answers. Don't try the hot rocks unless you want to singe your face. Shave with water? Nothing wrong with that. The propane in the tank? Search me.