Thebigspendurs Weekly Shaving Brainbuster #26
Good morning shaving fiends
Well, we spent the nite in one of those fancy 1 star hotels off that dang interstate. When Jethro went to register they told him they didn’t allow no animals inside the premises. Jethro told the clerk you calling my wife an animal? He said no I mean that goat. She would have to spend the nite in the pickup. He said OK. So he goes around the back and backs the pickup through the front window of the room and tells Baaby to spend the nite in the pickup.
When I stopped by their room in the morning they had a real banquet. I asked Cletus where all the food came from. He said you just call in this gizmo with buttons on it the food magically appears at your door. As we left the clerk started chasing jethro across the parking lot. I guess they don’t accept Confederate States of America Currency. Luckily for him the hotel was on the state line.
Auntie wanted to stop in the Black Hills to see those Presidents in stone. When we got there Baaby jumped out of the truck and ran off. Festus tracked her all the way to the top of the monument where she got her foot caught in a crack in the rock. Festus went back to the truck and got a few sticks of dynamite he all ways carries with him and set it off freeing Baaby. I was at the bottom admiring the view and I turned to the missus and all of a sudden when I looked back old Abe Lincoln was gone. Why he was in a pile of rubble at the bottom. The rangers arrested Festus and transported him into town to the nearest jail but the local Indians heard about what happened and they always felt the monument was stolen from them anyway plus when they created it, it was kind of like assaulting mother earth so they raided the jail and got him out and took him back to the reservation where they made him an honorary member of the tribe with 3 eagle feathers.
They insisted we spend the nite as their guests and we had a big feast and that morning we headed north again. Eventually we got to the border station however they said there were some irregularities. Jethro said irreg, irregul irreg..what? No one had any proof of citizenship. Then Auntie mouthed off to the official saying why do we need proof when the president wasn’t even a citizen? Then they hauled baaaby out of the pickup and said she would have to be quarantined for months. Then they found the dynamite not to mention the 50cal rifle and 1000 rounds of ammo. They arrested the whole family. The Canadian guys insisted the U.S take the clan all back. They refused saying they were all so stupid no way they were Americans. Well that started a pitched battle between the two sets of officials and in the confusion we all got away across the Canadian side.
We finally pulled into Regina and found out they wouldn’t take our money so we just camped out in a park and Jethro and Cletus went hunting and killed a deer and brought it back and we had a feast. The local police came by and didn’t like the fact we made a mess of the park and we had no ID and no hunting permit not to mention we entered the country illegally. Luckily for us Festus was a member of the tribe now and they couldn’t deport him and Baaaby was looking really hard at that dude wearing his red underwear. (It must have been that uniform) and he was starting to get nervous so he just let us go.
So the shaving brainbuster of the week concerns how to best shave when you are living in primitive conditions. All the water in the park up there was frozen solid and there was no wood to heat it so we couldn’t even wash our faces. So what should we be able to do to use our straights? Also the strop is frozen solid. Can we still use it like that? When we tried to open the razors the pivot was frozen too how do we unstuck them. It must be those stainless steel scales.
Navajo Joe had given us a years supply of his Great Spirit Shave Soap. Cletus used it but when he came out of the tent there were some angry looking animals pacing around. Some Badgers, a Black bear, and an Elk with a wild look in his eyes. The last I saw him he was running across the Prairie being chased by that male elk.
Don’t forget to stop by on Friday to get the frigid answers.
Someone told us there are some SRP members up here. Do you mind if the clan spends the nite at your place? We’re very respectful people,har har.
Oh and Festus wanted me to wish all of you a very Merry Christmas.
Actually, he doesn’t give a rats butt if you have a Christmas or not but he’s thinking maybe he can sucker you into sending him some presents and Baaby wants some booties.
