I think the fact that this is no ordinary woman, and in fact the woman he loves, is what makes it so important he respect her wishes.
I'm not saying he's trying to rule her with an iron fist. What I'm saying is that it is so easy for us to overlook other people's right of consent when they conflict with our own wishes.
Most of the gentlemen here are of an older generation. Most of you were raised with the subtle idea that it is ok to try to change the wishes of women to fit your own.
I am not suggesting that you're all wicked and sexist. I'm suggesting that the mindset you probably were brought up with may be slipping under your radar. We all have things like that. We are all affected by our upbringing, the time in which it took place, and these subtle messages we receive even as children.
I know what kind of guys you are around here, and I know that most of you very much respect women. But no one is perfect, and in order for you to respect women to the degree many of you do, you are actively fighting against the society you were brought up in.
I'm just pointing something which you may not have noticed, while carrying on that fight. We could all love better.
I don't think it is possible for me to convey to you, or any other man, what an important thing body limits are. How poorly respected our body limits are as women. And this is demonstrated by the fact that you think trying to talk her into it is more acceptable because she's his wife.
It's not.
She is not obligated to submit out of love, or out of trust, or because he is a man, or because he is her man. None of these things matter. We all have body limits.
She is scared of straights. She has every right to be. They're really bloody sharp.
Many of us are scared of straights, but there's a difference between respectfully cautious, and actual fear.
I am respectfully cautious of needles, yet that hasn't stopped me from getting piercings.
I have a friend who has to take a high dose of Xanax before she gets a shot because she is so afraid.
The shot isn't going to kill her. She knows that. But she's scared, and she can't help it. I love having friends go with me when I get inked or pierced, but I'd never try to force her to go, let alone try to talk her into getting something done herself. It's not her thing. And I don't want to upset her.
If his wife is experiencing true fear as relates to a straight (and who among us could blame her), how is it in any way acceptable for him to try to make her go through such fear?
This is not HER passion. It's his. And she is not obligated to share it.
I'm sorry, I'm just very passionate about this kind of issue. So many people are under the false impression that once you're in a relationship, limits and true consent (meaning, consent which has not been forced or coerced) doesn't matter anymore.