Thebigspendurs Weekly Shaving Brainbuster #30
Good morning shaving fiends.
Well, we headed west towards Alaska figuring once we got back into the U.S we would be OK. We drove for hours without the faintest signs of human habitation. Auntie spied this river and she said she once read in a book about all these salmon that come up these rivers and thought a nice salmon dinner would be just the thing. So we all piled out of the vehicles. The two chimps walking hand in hand, one singing old man river and the other with the straight razor in a custom banana wrap sheath around his waist and baaby with Napoleon’s shave brush on her head all being led by Festus. Cletus and I were heading towards the river and Jethro and Auntie were making camp.
So we get near the river and look across to the other side and there’s this bunch of bears catching these salmon in the river. They didn’t seem to mind us at all. Cletus just jumped into the river and starts grabbing fish and throwing them to me on the bank. All of a sudden we hear this rustling in the trees and these bears stopped what they was doing, looked up and they ran the hell out of there like the devil was chasing them. So we start cleaning the fish and I told jethro man, didn’t you bath last week you smell terrible. He said it ain’t me it must be you as he hits me over the head with a fish. I told him you take that back as we start wrestling on the bank. So as we look back there’s this like kind of big nine foot tall thing like a monkey or man or something and he grabs the two of us and must have thrown us thirty feet. He came after us and I thought well this must be the end. All of a sudden Jethro and the goat and the chimps appeared and this big dude, well he just became real meek and started communicating with Jethro and the chimps. Jethro said he knew all about this dude because he read about him in some comic books. Cletus said but you don’t know how to read. Jethro said yea but I can look at the pictures. He said this was Sasquatch. So after some parle we went back up to the camp and we all sat there eating fish and having a grand old time.
Jethro decided this was a real stroke of fortune because now we would take Mr Sasquatch back and with the monkeys he could have a real show now. But how are we going to get him across two borders.
Well, what we did is the chimp with the straight gave him a shave and we fixed him up with some funky clothes and put him in the back of the SUV and he just looked like a regular guy.
When we got to the border crossing station we decided the missus and I would cross at the station while the others would drive around the station.
Apparently they had just had a situation there at the station some guy tried to enter the U.S dressed in a bear suit and when they pulled him out of the car he started yelling something about some guy called Allah and he blew himself up. So they just waived all the traffic through.
So we headed to find the clan. According to our map they were supposed to take this old logging road and meet us but they were nowhere in sight. So I guess we’ll just have to wait for them to show up.
So the shaving brainbuster for this week concerns the razor the chimp used to shave Mr Sasquatch. When I looked at it I noticed the razor was flat on one side like it was some kind of one sided razor. What is this and how do you hone a razor like this?
Check back on Friday for the big footed answers.
