Sharp as a doughnut and other similes

The words "sharp", "dull" and "smooth" are used frequently on this site. It occurred to me that those words in themselves are insufficient to describe the degree of sharpness and smoothness that we are talking about here. We could use some more descriptive language to refer to these concepts.

To that end, how about a "sharp", "dull" and "smooth" simile thread? (extra points for humorous ones)

The first one that comes to mind is "sharp as a razor" but when you are talking about razors, that phrase is just about meaningless.

Here are a few that I could think of:

That razor was as sharp as a doughnut.
That razor was sharp as a slab of 5 year old cheddar.

That razor was dull as a wedding speech. (credit to Obie)
That razor was dull as a shag rug.

And perhaps something other than baby butt smooth… (I realize I may be treading on hallowed ground here.)

After that shave my face as smooth as a Ken Doll.
After that shave my face as smooth as a marble column.
After my first SR shave my face about as smooth as a stucco bathtub.

You get the idea. Do you guys have any ideas?

another one:

sharp as a wet cheeto

Sharp as a toothbrush. as dull as toilet paper.

"That razor is about as smooth as HNSB is with the ladies."

(Which means that it's pulling like a tugboat)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by HNSB

"That razor is about as smooth as HNSB is with the ladies."

(Which means that it's pulling like a tugboat)

---

Haha! Like it! :D

Mind if I use that in my sig line? :)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Stubear

Haha! Like it! :D

Mind if I use that in my sig line? :)

---

Have at it. You can feel free to support my narcisism any time.

Sharp as a bowling ball
Dull as an Insurance Seminar
And of course the Blugill Special: Smoother than a catfish's belly

Saw one on an old Western once.
"Can I borrow your razor ? Mine's a mite too sharp to plough with" :)

how about sharp as a sack of wet mash?

YouTube - Foghorn Leghorn wet mice

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by onimaru55

"Can I borrow your razor ? Mine's a mite too sharp to plough with" :)

---

:rofl2:Love it! Keep 'em coming guys!

A few more:

Sharp as a bee sting
Sharp as the eyes on a hawk

Dull as a cafeteria meatball

Smooth as a ninja and twice as cool
Smooth as a smoothie

Normally used to describe someone's personality, but could apply to razors also: Dull as ditchwater.

my favorite has always been sharp as a brick...probably because both my brothers are brick masons, and I have done some brickwork myself.

Another that I think I heard from Foghorn Leghorn - "I say, that boy's as sharp as a sack of wet leather".

Or something I used to tell by brother in law "you could $^&* up a bowling ball in a sandbox with a rubber mallet!"