Didn't Know Who He Was Talking To

The other night I was sitting in a bar downtown getting bad service over an only half decent pint when a street urchin who was getting a little too old for his trade, whisked in and up to our table, produced a brand new Gillette Fusion and offered it to me for $5. I, of course, shook my head, but he insisted, "C'mon, man, five bucks". That's when I turned around and proclaimed clearly to him and everyone in earshot, "I shave with a straight razor because I know how". That must have cooked his goose because he left immediately, clearly exhasperated. I've no doubt he had shoplifted the item and in all likelihood sold it eventualy, but it was nice to give the scrawny thief the impression that his wares held less value than he'd banked on.

X

Poor bastard, can't make an honest living by stealing any more :roflmao Maybe he'll note the declining customer base and move onto an honest job :cool:

Or start stealing straights!

Perish the thought!

Maybe he was hoping that as a straight shaver, you'd give him $5 just to get the thing out of your sight? :P

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Originally Posted by FiReSTaRT

Poor bastard, can't make an honest living by stealing any more :roflmao Maybe he'll note the declining customer base and move onto an honest job :cool:

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If he has experience in stealing, he can always apply for a government job :D

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Originally Posted by xman

I've no doubt he had shoplifted the item...

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I'll bet you a box of Krispy Kremes that he lifted it from somebody's mailbox. There is a stunning amount of anti-shoplifting doo-dads installed in razors found in stores nowadays. With Gillette flooding mailboxes across the country with Fusion handles, it's a lot easier to get one that way than taking from a store.


Not that I'm an expert at shoplifting or anything. :shrug:

Dammit X, now the secret's out... now that little urchin will be trying to steal our straights. It's on your shoulders now! :roflmao:roflmao:roflmao

To guard against straight-stealing urchins, I've taken to carrying a few Zeepks around in my pants pockets. One little brat actually brought a razor back, tears streaming down his raw cheeks, and told me that he'd given up on crime and decided to become a Presbyterian minister.

Josh

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Originally Posted by Scrapyard Ape

I'll bet you a box of Krispy Kremes that he lifted it from somebody's mailbox.

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Make it Tim's and I'll take that bet.

X

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Originally Posted by JoshEarl

To guard against straight-stealing urchins, I've taken to carrying a few Zeepks around in my pants pockets. One little brat actually brought a razor back, tears streaming down his raw cheeks, and told me that he'd given up on crime and decided to become a Presbyterian minister.

Josh

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Which is the more horrifying? The urchin stealing the Zeepk, or the one carrying the Zeepk to begin with? Hmmmm.....:hmmm:

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Originally Posted by xman

Make it Tim's and I'll take that bet.

X

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I'm in Florida. The closest Tim Horton's appears to be in West Virginia. No wager over a Fusion razor is worth THAT kind of drive. :D

:shrug: ... The KK franchisee for Az and NM went bankrupt. The closest Tim's doughnut is probably at X's house.:eek:

But it was an act of self defense, I swear it was...:o

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Originally Posted by Scrapyard Ape

Which is the more horrifying? The urchin stealing the Zeepk, or the one carrying the Zeepk to begin with? Hmmmm.....:hmmm:

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Originally Posted by Scrapyard Ape

I'm in Florida. The closest Tim Horton's appears to be in West Virginia. No wager over a Fusion razor is worth THAT kind of drive. :D

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I accept gift certificates. :D

X

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Originally Posted by Scrapyard Ape

I'll bet you a box of Krispy Kremes that he lifted it from somebody's mailbox. There is a stunning amount of anti-shoplifting doo-dads installed in razors found in stores nowadays. With Gillette flooding mailboxes across the country with Fusion handles, it's a lot easier to get one that way than taking from a store.


Not that I'm an expert at shoplifting or anything. :shrug:

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Y'know, I've delivered those damned Fusion thingies! Here I am a str8 shaver and I'm walking down the street with a half dozen of them in my mail satchel thinking that I'm committing the unpardonable shaving sin by foisting these evil things on unsuspecting men(and women :w ). Well, I suppose I could use the Nuremberg defense: "I was just following orders!" :(

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Originally Posted by Agamemnon

Y'know, I've delivered those damned Fusion thingies! Here I am a str8 shaver and I'm walking down the street with a half dozen of them in my mail satchel thinking that I'm committing the unpardonable shaving sin by foisting these evil things on unsuspecting men(and women :w ). Well, I suppose I could use the Nuremberg defense: "I was just following orders!" :(

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Don't fret. Those razors aren't the ultimate evil. Some people really DO like them. Now if you were traipsing about delivering cans of goo that call themselves shaving creams and gels...... well, let's just say I'd be obligated to make you eat all of them before implementing your demise. THOSE are the real evil!:cool:

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Originally Posted by Scrapyard Ape

Don't fret. Those razors aren't the ultimate evil. Some people really DO like them.

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i agree. I got one in the mail and i love it... it makes a great door stop;)

Why? I remember back over thirty years ago reading "Mad" magazine as a kid. One piece was about products and inventions in the future and one was a multi blade razor. It was a flexible strip several inches long holding about two or three dozen blades with a handle at each end. It was run over the face much the same way that a shoeshine cloth is used to give a close, fast shave. The modern razor wars reminded me of that. How many blades are they up to now? Five? Six? :hmmm:

P.S. I just hope old Alfred doesn't make us face toward him and pray five times a day. :roflmao

NO! Shoeshine cloths don't give close, fast shaves in case you're wondering. Razors do. ";"

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Originally Posted by Agamemnon

Why? I remember back over thirty years ago reading "Mad" magazine as a kid. One piece was about products and inventions in the future and one was a multi blade razor. It was a flexible strip several inches long holding about two or three dozen blades with a handle at each end. It was run over the face much the same way that a shoeshine cloth is used to give a close, fast shave. The modern razor wars reminded me of that. How many blades are they up to now? Five? Six? :hmmm:

P.S. I just hope old Alfred doesn't make us face toward him and pray five times a day. :roflmao

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HAHAHA!!!!! I remember that as well! There was also a Flame thrower razor, a Laser Razor, and a pair of "Plucker" razors that pulled the hairs out by the roots!(both manual and battery powered models) :roflmao

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Originally Posted by steve

If he has experience in stealing, he can always apply for a government job :D

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Hey, watch it dude your on thin ice here.

Actually he probably left thinking, yea if that guy shaves with a straight I'm a monkey's uncle.

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Originally Posted by xman

. I've no doubt he had shoplifted the item and in all likelihood sold it eventualy, but it was nice to give the scrawny thief the impression that his wares held less value than he'd banked on.

X

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Man! It's guys like you that give crooks a bad name! ;).

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Originally Posted by thebigspendur

Actually he probably left thinking, yea if that guy shaves with a straight I'm a monkey's uncle.

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Thus proving Darwin's Theory of Evolution.

X

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Originally Posted by Agamemnon

Why? I remember back over thirty years ago reading "Mad" magazine as a kid. One piece was about products and inventions in the future and one was a multi blade razor. It was a flexible strip several inches long holding about two or three dozen blades with a handle at each end. It was run over the face much the same way that a shoeshine cloth is used to give a close, fast shave. The modern razor wars reminded me of that. How many blades are they up to now? Five? Six? :hmmm:

P.S. I just hope old Alfred doesn't make us face toward him and pray five times a day. :roflmao

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I digress somewhat (:OT) but there was a skit on the second episode of SNL where they spoofed the then-newly introduced double bladed razor by holding up a three-bladed razor. It actually was pretty uncanny with what eventually did come out, and what the commercials looked like, with the "first blade pulls the hair" bit.