Ode to the Barber Hone

No lapping, clogging or need to soak

Just a coat of lather and a light stroke

Of all finishers I have tried, my favourite stone

Is my trusty little barber hone

With just one stroke,
of an angle too high;
Your edge rolls over,
then kiss it good-bye. ;) :D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Hirlau

With just one stroke,
of an angle too high;
Your edge rolls over,
then kiss it good-bye. ;) :D

---

Haaaaa!!!!! Too funny.

You must now start over on a lower grit
Be careful this time you clumsy twit

As a Newbie ponders his new hobby and dreams,
he's been told, "Barber hone & cheap strop is all you need."
He lathers his face with boar brush & cream,
as the blade rolls down, he lets out a scream. :D

For the purposes of this thread,
Given what has already been said,
May I suggest that all commentary
Be posted in the form of poetry?

I can see this thread going sideways real fast
Har!!! :chop:

Rolled me edge, stupid git,
now my razor shaves like shiiiiver me timbers
and stone the crowes
why i did it
no one knows
what to do
buy another
i'll need a loan
from dear old mother

To post in rhyme is truly a crime
And a great waste of time.

To post in verse is even worse,
And considered a curse.

But to post in prose as everyone knows
Doesn't even rhyme.

Regards,
Neil

Hail Swaty, King of Hones!
You reign supreme, it has been shown.

Search the earth for slabs and slate,
You will not find a stone so great.

Squander gold in shops and bays,
Fill your den a thousand ways,

Yet nothing else we need acquire
To make an edge we all admire.

You keep our blades both keen and bright,
We find no better, try as we might.

O Humble stone, ye simple tool!
A man without one is a fool.

Hail Swaty, King of Hones!
Above all else you stand alone!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Hirlau

As a Newbie ponders his new hobby and dreams,
he's been told, "Barber hone & cheap strop is all you need."
He lathers his face with boar brush & cream,
as the blade rolls down, he lets out a scream. :D

---

Wait; really? What else would I need?

In Montreal, Florida, California, and Essex
this thread has been built on the back of poetics.
With mentions of strops, of cuts, and of hones,
of New Zealander mothers hit up for some loans.
But before we get questions of two-lines or three,
or other related Swaty controversy,
it's important to note, despite conjuring the curse
of Cangooner posting again here in verse,
there are lessons to be learned from these little ceramics
that can teach us about dynastic dynamics.
The stories of empires, love 'em or hate 'em,
when you look at your Swaty, can help you to date 'em.
I'll try to be brief, and keep this concise
So bear with me please if you'll accept some advice
from this lover of history, exile from academia:
Marburg was in Austria, and Maribor, Slovenia

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Cangooner

In Montreal, Florida, California, and Essex
this thread has been built on the back of poetics.
With mentions of strops, of cuts, and of hones,
of New Zealander mothers hit up for some loans.
But before we get questions of two-lines or three,
or other related Swaty controversy,
it's important to note, despite conjuring the curse
of Cangooner posting again here in verse,
there are lessons to be learned from these little ceramics
that can teach us about dynastic dynamics.
The stories of empires, love 'em or hate 'em,
when you look at your Swaty, can help you to date 'em.
I'll try to be brief, and keep this concise
So bear with me please if you'll accept some advice
from this lover of history, exile from academia:
Marburg was in Austria, and Maribor, Slovenia

---

your verses are great, and your shaves even better,
from the swaty, i have heard, it's a real go getter,
what's that at the top? three lines or two,
i don't own one, so haven't a clue,
barbers hones, a dime a dozen,
there's a rumour going round,
they were baked in an oven,
no matter to you, no matter to me,
with just a strop,
shave twenty three,
from my ugly old razor, i love her so,
sixty six laps and she's ready to go,
wedges, big butchers, shiver in fear,
no need for you, the puma is here.

If you are afraid
To buy a genuine stone
Get a barber hone.

Kinda low hanging fruit, I guess.

The best barber hones
It's sad to say
you'll need a loan
just to pay
why this is
you must ask
the burly axe men
have struck at last

Of barber hones, I have much to say...
'Tis 3 of them I own today.
One with no name, on which is shown:
"Shaving sharpness is made on the hone"
The other two, I do proclaim,
Are American made and that of much fame.
"Genco" is the name upon them displayed,
And fitting, since most of my razors they made.
One is a strop-back, the other just stone,
but each one is simply a magnificent hone.
They finish my edges, each one tip-top,
So that all of my blades need only a strop.
I build lather with a brush, and I start to grin
For the ritual is soon to begin.
I think to myself, as I take razor in hand,
And you fellow wet shavers will all understand,
"I do not like cartridge razors, or goo from a can,
I do not like them, Sam I am!!"