How would you go about fixing this razor? (See pics)

So I've taken a couple of inexpert cracks at getting this old razor of mine ready to go without even the slightest stroke of luck. Being a knife person first my thought processes are probably way off and somehow I doubt I have the patience for the RIGHT answer, even so far as simply keeping it up should I have one of the pros hone it for me. I've even posted a thread or two regarding it at one point or another but still haven't managed to get this bastard to cooperate even a little bit. Here's what we're looking at...

I've got a pair of Norton's (220/1000 and 4000/8000) and essentially nothing else as far as honing equipment goes. The problem I have is an obviously warped or at least WAY out of kilter blade that causes my bevel to be so far out of whack that I fear I'll never be able to get it in shape to put this blade into my rotation (so far I'm rotating a single razor because I'm poor :p)

In this first picture the issue is going to look like a trick of the light/flash I assure you it's not. The second one proves it by doing the exact opposite of the initial "trick" so look at them both please.
http://gawkerweb.com/thistle001.JPG
http://gawkerweb.com/thistle002.JPG
As you can see the spine wear is obviously out of whack as well. If I had bought this off eBay I'd chalk it up to bad luck and trash the sucker, but it's actually a family heirloom of sorts passed down for at least two or three generations so I'd kinda like to get her up to par so she can go back to being a useful part of the family instead of collecting dust in the back of my Dad's sock drawer (where's it's been pretty much my whole life).

My instinct is to grind the living shit out of it on a low grit until the edge and bevel evens up THEN try honing it as if it was a razor, but something tells me that would just destroy it. I sorta tried a bit of that on my 220 but to be honest it seemed like the stone wasn't having much effect on the razor at all so I gave up pretty quick. After reading more around here I am afraid this thing is going to require a thinner hone and some special technique like rocking the thing across the hone which to be honest is WAY too big a PIA for me to put up with. I hope I'm wrong though so I'm posting this to get some opinions from more experienced and probably more patient people than myself. So anyhow thanks in advance for any and all advice and if the best advice you can give me is to frame the thing I'll take it and start picking out a shadow box.

I had the same problem.
See my thread over here:
http://straightrazorpalace.com/showthread.php?t=9432

You can see what I did at what stage during the honing process.
Basically, it comes down to being careful and having a lot of patience.

I spent almost 15 hours getting it from butterknife dull to razor sharp.
That's 15 actual hours on the stone.

Your edge looks better than mine did when I started, so you should probably need less than 15 hours though.

As long as you can get a good contact with the stone, don't care about the shape of the bevels. You are right that these are caused by a warp of the blade, but as long as the edge can maintain good contact with the stone, the shape of the bevel is irelevant.
Grinding it on a coarse stone will probably ruin your blade. You should only do that when you have a part of the blade that does not touch the stone anymore.

If this was an ebay special, I would ask you to sell it to me, as I could use another challenge. Since it is a heirloom it is logical that you want to hang on to it.

If you don't feel like honing this thing yourself, you could ask Lynn (adjustme69) or Joe (Joe chandler) how much they would charge you for doing this for you. They are true experts.
If that would be too much, I could do it for you as well, for free. I am no Lynn or Joe, but I can get it sharp.

It's not like I usually go around doing things for free, but Nelson gave me this beautiful razor that I managed to get sharp, and I figured I'd pass on the favor. What goes around comes around :)

PM me if you are interested.

Damn it...don't take this the wrong way Bruno but you were the LAST person I wanted to weigh in on this. I've read your ENTIRE thread on the challenge razor and every time I think about THIS razor I go back to read through that thread again. I can assure you I haven't got the patience to put 15 hours into this thing, and I also lack your narrow stones which I believe made a huge difference for you. I'm glad to see I was right about low grit stones killing this thing. Hell I'm half tempted to let you take a whack at it seeing what a grand job you did of that other one. I wonder what safe shipping to Belgium from Texas would run me...but then I'm sure you'd rather not waste time on a project razor for someone else's benefit.

Can I ask for your take on it as far as what kind of steps you might use to get it up to par? I mean, would you go with paper? a 1K stone? how low a grit would you start with and what kind of insight can you give as far as grinding at the spine? I know you had to regrind the spine on the razor in your thread but you mentioned a belt sander or grinder?! I guess what I'm trying to figure out is what exactly you have to DO to the razor to correct the issues caused by the warped blade? Would you suggest the spine work as the primary step to take or just lots and lots of work on the 1K? Should I tape the spine or let it be since it's probably partially at fault?

On second thought I'm glad you piped in...you're prolly top notch advice in this area...

Never go below 1000 grit. I have done it, and seen what happens. The edge of a razor is way too fine for anything below 1000. I used a lower grit to regrind the spine, but the edge touched the stone as well. The burring was almost a mm deep at some points.

As for stone vs paper: I like the feeling of stone beneath my fingers. For taking away a lot of metal I feel that I get quicker results. However, Joe Chandler uses wet paper exclusively and he certainly knows what he is doing. I think it comes down to preference and what you have. A 1K stone costs money, while sandpaper costs pennies.
EDIT: Actually it is either Randy or Joe who uses sandpaper exclusively. Can't remember.

A good test to get a feel for the razor is to lay it on a flat surface. Hold the shank, make sure the heel touches the surface and gently roll the razor from heel to toe. Look at the edge while you do this. Do this for both sides of the razor. If you see that the edge maintains contact while you are doing this, the spine is OK and the blade is not warped beyond easy salvation.

I had to regrind the spine, which took a lot of time. If I had to do it again I would use a fine grit belt sander. Your razor looks like the spine is still in good shape (though a bit scuffed) so you won’t need to do that I think.

Since your blade is not 100% straight, it is normal that the whole blade does not touch the surface at once. This means that you have to roll the razor from heel to toe while honing. Go slowly at first to learn the correct movement.

As for where to start: there is a simple trick I learned. Lap your 4K stone to make sure it is flat. Wet it and raise a slurry if you have a slurry stone. Make one pass, rolling the razor from heel to toe, and look at the water near the edge.

If you see the razor ‘undercutting’ the water, so that the water flows over the part of the razor that has contact with the stone, you know that the bevels are flat on the stone. From there on you can do 4K/8K pyramids until it is tip top.

The places where the water flows under / around the razor do not touch the stone properly and need more sharpening on 1K, alternated with 4K. Note that this is not yet the actual honing, but making sure that it can be honed. If the bevel does not touch the stone, there is no point in honing or polishing.

I conciously did not tape the spine. First of all, it was severely damaged anyway, so why bother. Secondly, I managed to get the bevels nice and flat without tape. If I had not been able to hone the edge shave ready, I would have taped it then to raise the spine a smidgen, thereby insuring that the edge itself made good contact. That would have given me one extra shot, so to speak. Had I taped it when I started, that option would not exist.

Personally, I think you should only tape the spine if you want to keep it mint. This only applies to new or high end razors IMO (or if they belong to someone else), so I never bother with my own razors. They are for shaving, not for keeping mint.

Just my 2 ct of course.

You can also try bending it straight again. Use a vise and a couple of thin strips of wood and be careful.

I'm lazy - I would send it to Joe Chandler who could regrind it if necessary.

Not only would it come back sharp, but would probably be easier to maintain as well.

I'm not sure what Joe would charge, but I know his prices are very reasonable.

I'm tempted, believe me...that's the only thing that concerns me though is how difficult it would be to maintain the thing after it's been honed. I still have another old razor from a flea market in New Braunfels my parents bought me as a stocking stuffer that I'm going to try to get up and running I just haven't sat down to work on it yet...I'm off tomorrow so I may see what happens then. Hell I might end up sending this sucker to Bruno and let him work his magic on it. I'm just not lucky enough to grasp the theory behind blade geometry and honing well enough to really know how to get started with this one right now.