"Oh my God! I think I just nicked my jugular!"
Not really, just kidding, had you going for a moment though, eh?
Hiya! My name's Dan Martin and I just wanted to take a few moments to introduce myself. Evidently I'm new to this straight razor business and, because I get a bit obsessive about new interests, I wanted to immerse myself in an environment of like-minded gentlemen (and bearded ladies too? No kidding?) and learn what I can about the "Art-of-Shaving" like my dear old grand pappy did, back in the day. I am guessing that shaving with a sharpened implement of some sort, (probably a knapped flint) goes back to the Stone Age and the driving force behind that endeavor was when Ooola told Alley Oop that unless he did something about those facial bristles, he wasn't getting any more of her sweet monkey love. But I digress.....
Me, OK...I'm leaning on 60, from NYC, live now in South Jersey. I was a NYC paramedic then went on to become a NYC police officer (I helped more people than I hurt by a thousand to one but I'm thankful that's all behind me!). Married 22 years, no kids, no pets, still love my wife. Oh yea, I miss being a twenty-something year old...my friends, chasing girls, 70's & 80's music, few if any responsibilities...yea, I miss those good old days a lot. SIGH.
So, I still remember how delighted I was when my Mom got me a Remington electric shaver for Christmas when I was 15. Manhood had arrived for me and my Mother noticed. I definitely equate shaving with maturity. Eventually I discovered wet shaving in the mid-Seventies, using the popular and ubiquitious Gillette Trac II razor for many, many years until they virtually disappeared and were replaced by these expensive 3, 4, 5, and 6 blade "systems". I revolted against these way more costly razors and for years stubbornly purchased only the cheapest disposable razors that I could find.
Do I have to tell you how awful shaving became? No, I probably don't.
Finally, after a few years of lousy shaves, I relented and started looking around on the internet for a better option. I thought of my "Old Man" and the safety razor he used with those dangerous little Gillette double-sided razor blades. As a kid I knew to steer clear of Dad's shaving stuff...if I screwed with it and the razor blades didn't kill me, he would have. Dear old Dad.
So I wondered if those type of razors were still around and viola! I discovered they were so I found a solid, old fashioned blade holder and some old-fashioned razor blades and gave it a shot. A little apprehensive at first (residual childhood fear) but after a short while I have grown fond of this method and now look forward to shaving. Had to be a bit more cautiously and take a little more time but it turned out to be a superior shave and I was pleased that the razor blades could be obtained so inexpensively. I would not even begin to compare disposable razors to these however, I did find another use for the few disposables I had left....they are terrific for removing those fuzzy little balls from your clothing! (no need for shaving cream, just shave 'em dry...Heloise's Helpful Household Hints)
While seeking out safety razors and double edged blades, one cannot help but come across straight razors and their accompanying gear. OK, I reasoned...if the safety razor that my Old Man used gives a really good shave then the razor that his Old Man used might be even better. And there is no denying the "machismo factor" inherent in straight razor shaving....one misstep and you could be dead, Fred! Well, I am a bit of a risk taker and so getting a great shave while risking my safety (maybe even my life) has a certain dark appeal. I guess that's why I liked rock climbing, parachute jumping and chasing bad men with guns and stuff like that. Most fellows don't know how close the jugular vein is to the surface of the neck, throbbing just a few millimeters below where that razor sharp metal instrument is scraping over my thin epidermis....Wow! I get a rush just thinking about it!
So, that's why I'm here....I've got a few things to learn and I'm here to begin the absorption process. I've already screwed up and, in my unbridled enthusiasm, rushed out and bought a cheap straight razor from China. It looked nice and it was, ahem, "cost-effective". Oh well, live and learn. I am using it now (in it's perpetually dull state) to get familiar with holding it and by practicing the motions and techniques that I will use later when I put a razor of quality to my throat...so, in effect, it wasn't a wasted purchase...I'm using it for practice....like when you give a kid a toy plastic hammer to bang around with so he doesn't hurt himself or damage anything...yea, something like that.
Alright, that's enough of my ramblings, I don't really expect anyone to read my "blither-blather" anyway...I'm just killing time before I go out and do something..."Manly"...like chop wood or shoot something for dinner...or wait for the laundry to finish drying. This looks like a fun and interesting place to hang so It's quite likely that I'll be back for more "lither-lather". Hope you guys and dolls got a sense of humor...don't take me too seriously 'cause I like to laugh and goof around...it's what's helped to remain somewhat sane in an otherwise insane world. Best to all!
Thanks and G'day!
Uncle Dano
