Thread: Thebigspendurs axioms of shaving

Originally Posted by FloorPizza

For some reason, my wife seemed to think, "OK, he's shaving now. It's time to walk behind him from closet to bathroom as many times as I possibly can." I swear, the woman would go all day *without* traveling that small path way, just so she could do it while I was shaving. She never quite took to the dirty looks and big dramatic pause in my shaving, nor the "woman, would you PLEASE not walk behind me while I'm shaving?" hint I screamed at her, so I now LOCK the damn bed room door. She still doesn't get it. Then yesterday I'm honing on the dining room table. She's sitting across from me. I'm mid stroke, and she moves the TABLE instead of her chair to get up. That was the first school girl scream I've let out since... well...EVER. She apologized somewhere amongst her laughter.

That sounds like grounds for a divorce. Or at least couples counseling.

Yeah, starting sentences with "woman" isn't very good either. I know I'm the kind of person who always backs down and seek to avoid conflict as long as I'm in a good mood, but I would just have locked both doors and been done with it, or moved my den to another bathroom.

I remember reading about crime statistics in the late 1800's in London. Due to sloppy investigating techniques there were an inordinate number of women who killed themselves by cutting their throats with their husband's straight razor. I think I understand why.

Originally Posted by ndw76

I remember reading about crime statistics in the late 1800's in London. Due to sloppy investigating techniques there were an inordinate number of women who killed themselves by cutting their throats with their husband's straight razor. I think I understand why.

Hmmm. That's got me thinking she might have ulterior motives! See, I left out what happened later that same evening...

I'm still honing at dinner time. I'm totally Zenned out; the mechanism is cleared. All I see is the blade, all I hear is the blade, all I feel is the blade. Nothing else. Well, nothing else, that is, until suddenly a mushroom appeared in my right eye's field of vision. A mushroom, smothered in steaming hot marinara sauce. This results in the first school girl scream I've let out since... well.. earlier that same day. Again, I'm mid stroke. While trying to control the razor, my head starts backing away from the mushroom, which made it's initial appearance approximately an inch and a half away from my right cornea, follows as rapidly as I move my head; my head moves faster away, and the mushroom keeps pace. Gains a bit, if I'm not mistaken. "Does this taste ok to you?" "Honey, I'm one of those rare men that can't taste with my eyeballs."

Setting the razor aside, I hurridly shove the mushroom in my mouth. I never realized a mushroom could attain such temperatures without reaching critical mass. My 8k Shapton now has a marinara stain on it.

That woman is trying to kill me. Be it by straight razor or nuclear mushroom. I never should have showed her my life insurance policy.

Sorry for the totally off-topic post, but dang... that Starbucks Aged Sumatra is gooooood.

Originally Posted by FloorPizza

That woman is trying to kill me. Be it by straight razor or nuclear mushroom. I never should have showed her my life insurance policy.

Sorry for the totally off-topic post, but dang... that Starbucks Aged Sumatra is gooooood.

Not too far off topic. The moral of the story is don't shave angry.

thought this deserved a bump

Being fairly recent to this all I've been learning on a very steep curve. I can personally vouch for every one of the axioms so far. I'd add that one added later here seems seriously true - using a dull razor and dragging it across the same area over and over accomplishes nothing but pain and bumps. If I've somehow missed or messed up a stropping, and start to have to repeat areas, I'll now put that blade back into rotation and select another - and will pay close attention to stropping before I start back in on my face. I was very hardheaded about pushing a dull blade - and have some scars to prove it! Stropping is certainly an art in itself, and something many ignore at their risk!

Axiom N+1: forget about shaving with a straight razor in a budget hotel in London because:
* You can barely turn around in the tiny room, there is not enough space for stropping there.
* The hyper ultra hard water turns your favorite soap into a brick of frustration.
* Hot water is sparse and far between. Occasionally, there's no water at all.
* The plumbing noises will scare the heck out of you. You'd better not have the razor near your face when that happens.
* The towel is the last thing you want to get near your face.
* Carrying the straight in your suitcase is a criminal act.


PS: London marathon be damned.

Thanks for shaing:
Axiom 5-If a little honing goes a long way a lot of honing must go further. The only thing a lot of honing will do is wear down your blade. The trick is to expose the blade to as little contact with the hone as possible to get the maximum result. Remember, each time the razor slides down the hone your leaving metal behind.

Axiom 6-Spending more money on razors and paraphernalia does not guarantee better shaves. Your shaves only become better as your mastery of the skill increases. Spending more money may increase your satisfaction and may make you feel better but as far as better shaves go...

Originally Posted by russellnyc

Great guidelines!

My two cents: If the shave isn't going well and the razor isn't cutting your stubble well and easily, stop shaving and finish with another razor/shaving method. Going over a stubborn spot your face 10 times with a dull razor won't make your face smooth or your razor sharp, it will just make your face hurt and prevent you from shaving tomorrow.

+1
Yes, Keep a DE or even a toss away (BiC or the like) handy
for the days when the str8 is not right.

And sure if you have a rotation of str8s or a feather then what you
reach for when todays edge is unexpectedly dull or mismatched
to your face is up to you.

And always if you had a good shave yesterday -- walking away could be an option.