StropTalk! Chapter 2

My name is MapleLeafAlumnus, and I'm a stropping addict...a stropaholic...a stropping junkie! Do you find yourself daydreaming of stropping whilst propping your feet up on your desk at work? Have you ever "air stropped" with your seat belt when stopped at an interminably long traffic light? Does SWMBO complain that you rub your strop more than her? If this sounds like you, you're not alone! We stropaholics just can't get enough of stropping, hence the nature of our addiction. In this first thread of my triumphant return from an unjust 2-week suspension for telling a certain moderator exactly what I think of him in no uncertain terms, I've decided to tackle an issue which has confounded rookie cutthroat shavers since time immemorial: stropping! The purpose is to bring to the light of day the regular routines of everyday stroppers. To aid me in this endeavour, I decided to ask SRP's own favourite son of Texas, WULLIE!

MLA: How old were you when you first stropped? Tell us about your 1st stropping attempt.

WULLIE: Must have been back on my first campaign. I was riding with Black Jack Pershing and chasing Pancho Villa around the wilds of Southern New Mexico. The mule didn't enjoy it.

MLA: Do you have a "go-to" strop? Please tell us about it. Why is it your favourite?
WULLIE: Yep. It's a hybrid because it doubles as sling for my FAL.

MLA: Do you prefer a hanging strop or a paddle strop? Why? Do you own both types?
WULLIE: Hanging most definitely. Got a paddle strop, but I'm afraid they're gonna want to have them registered because they're so easy to strop fast with.

MLA: How many strops do you own? How many have you owned in totality? WULLIE: Three. Three and half.

MLA: Have you ever sliced a strop so badly you had to give it Last Rites? WULLIE: Nope. Melted one one time trying to start the engine on a hay baler with it.

MLA: What qualities does your dream strop possess? WULLIE: One that doesn't kiss and tell.

MLA: Have you ever used a strop for something other than its intended purpose? If so, what? WULLIE: Yep, there was this one time down in S America, but that mission is classified.

MLA: Most of the SRP community knows of your outstanding collection of straight blades. Is your strop collection equally as impressive? WULLIE: Nope.

MLA: In your opinion, what is the single best piece of instruction for new stroppers? WULLIE: I'd advise taking a deep seat and riding with a far away look in your eye.

MLA: What does your SWMBO think of your stropping issues? WULLIE: Issues? Huh?

MLA: Are you a daily stropper? How often does the urge to strop strike you? WULLIE: Nope, stropping is best reserved for when needed. Urge? Never.

MLA: Does SWMBO ever express jealousy over your strop(s)? WULLIE: Nah.

MLA: Have you ever incurred a stropping injury? If so, how many stitches/staples were required? WULLIE: Nope, scared Hell out the cat one time though.

MLA: Strop care: where do you store your strop(s)? How many do you own? Have your strops ever expressed jealousy over one another? WULLIE: One hanging on the Springfield and the other on the outhouse door.

MLA: Have you ever taught anyone else how to strop? If so, who? Do they still strop? WULLIE: Nope.

MLA: Which strop would you recommend for a beginning stropper? Why? WULLIE: A cheap one. They don't scream so loud.

MLA: Are you an "X-stroke" stropper? Have you ever used a windshield-wiper pattern to strop? WULLIE: I prefer an Immelman to a Cuban 8. Never tried stropping a windshield wiper.

MLA: How often do you fantasize about stropping? WULLIE: Can't ever recall fantasizing about stropping.

MLA: During your career as a long-haul trucker, did you ever smuggle strops across the border? WULLIE: Nope, but I hauled tons of live ones to Wyoming and back.

MLA: Living in Texas (Home of the Longhorns), do you have more strops readily available to you on the open market than the rest of the U.S.A.? Are Texas strops indeed bigger?
WULLIE: I got no idea, I bought mine in Iowa.

MLA: Do you use any pastes or other "extras" on your strop(s), or are you exclusively a palm-rubber? If you use any extras, what are they? How are they used to best effect in your opinion?
WULLIE: No pastes, I find that the blade heats it up fast enough.

MLA: You're a Vietnam veteran -- specifically, U.S. Navy. Did you ever attempt stropping whilst aboard ship? What was the outcome? Did you have to perform a burial at sea for the strop?
WULLIE: Beards were cool thanks to Admiral Zumwalt, shaving was optional and stropping not required.

MLA: Please tell us about your most pleasant stropping experience. WULIE: There was this one time down in South America, but once again, that mission is still classified.

MLA: You own many straight razors from many manufacturers. Would you tell us which blades seem to respond best to which types of strops? (for example, do the big W & B's do better with latigo strops, or with seal skin strops?) WULLIE: My W&B prefers a zebra strop. I don't happen to have one, but that;'s what they keep telling me.

MLA: If you have a favourite razor to strop in your vast collection, which is it, and on which strop? WULLIE: My favorite is the one I happen to be using at the time.

MLA: Tell us about your stropping dreams. Do you think you're a viable candidate for the Texas Stropping Hall of Fame? WULLIE: Huh? Nope.

MLA: Are you a self-taught stropper? Has anyone helped you along the way during your stropping career? WULLIE: Self taught all the way. Grandad taught me what happens when a strop hits your rear end. Does that count?

MLA: What is your stropping dream? By that I mean which razor, which strop, what is the setting/context, etc. WULLIE: I'll have to think about that one with a bottle of Jimador and get back to ya with more details. IF I can remember them.

MLA: Which do you prefer: honing or stropping? Why? WULLIE: Drinking.

MLA: Have you ever attained the "perfect stroke" whilst stropping? If so, would you please describe the sensation? WULLIE: I give up. Is that like when a full hollow hits High C right before it explodes?

MLA: What would you consider to be the ideal stropping stroke? WULLIE: I'd have to say a modified lumchevak.

And there you have it, sage wit and wisdom straight from the former horse-hauler's mouth, our good friend Wullie, the man who owns more steel than can be found in any modern manufactured car! Thanks for taking the time out of your busy holidays with your family to answer these completely unimportant questions, Wullie!!!
Tune in next week for the continuing saga of StropTalk! when we'll talk to a Hoosier who hoards strops...or a native Michigander/Michiganian who's been hiding out in Colorado until the statute of limitations expires. Until next week, Keep Calm and Strop On!