you can do either one.. i have a prety course beard as well so its easier for me to just shave every day. i have never had to much problem with ingrown hairs unless i shave againt the grain which i dont do any more because of that.... but if you let it grow out i dont know how sensitive your skin is but with longer facial hair you may have to make 2-3 passes WTG before you go across the grain. a hot shower before hand is a must it really helps make it easier on your face. and yes kitchen hones will be way to course look for a barbers hone just to keep that edge fresh when stroping is no longer enough