Quip Of The Day

"All animals except man know that the ultimate of life is to enjoy it."

- Samuel Butler

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Originally Posted by Phrank

"All animals except man know that the ultimate of life is to enjoy it."

- Samuel Butler

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Here, Here!! :bow: :tu

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Phrank

"All animals except man know that the ultimate of life is to enjoy it."

- Samuel Butler

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According to a man......:shrug:

Don't worry about old age; it doesn't last that long.

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Originally Posted by TaipeiJake

Don't worry about old age; it doesn't last that long.

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On the flip side...The more you complain the longer God makes you live. :)

I've spent the last four years looking for my ex-wife's killer but so far no one will do it.


rs,
Tack

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Phrank

"All animals except man know that the ultimate of life is to enjoy it."

- Samuel Butler

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Originally Posted by 32t

According to a man......:shrug:

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Perhaps an 'Animal' speaking as a 'Man' :shrug:

The Romans struggled to depict Scotland.


rs,
Tack

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Tack

The Romans struggled to depict Scotland.
rs,Tack

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...........................:gaah:

Do you have a pictorial history of that??
~Re-charred

I've reached the age where my brain went from "You probably shouldn't say that" to "Oh, what the hell, let's see what happens".


rs,
Tack

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Tack

I've reached the age where my brain went from "You probably shouldn't say that" to "Oh, what the hell, let's see what happens".

rs,
Tack

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Age and alcohol both do that!

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Originally Posted by Tack

I've reached the age where my brain went from "You probably shouldn't say that" to "Oh, what the hell, let's see what happens".


rs,
Tack

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Not far from the truth is that one. There was a study made a few years ago that supports that statement. It also stated that the use of profanity increased with age and that us oldsters are one damn swearing bunch of s**t spewing bas***ds.

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Originally Posted by Razorfeld

It also stated that the use of profanity increased with age and that us oldsters are one damn swearing bunch of s**t spewing bas***ds.

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In that case, I've been old for a long time.
After all, a foul mouth indicates a weak mind.

F*&K Yeah!

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Originally Posted by Utopian

Age and alcohol both do that!

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Amen! And too much of either can kill you. Although.. alcohol kills people but then, how many have been born because of it?


rs,
Tack

Aw Heck;
"Beware of gifts bearing Greeks !" After action report by Homer

~Richard

I found a wallet today and as a good Christian, I thought, "What would Jesus do?"     So I turned it into wine.


rs,
Tack

Farmer or no;
"The best things to cultivate are friends and neighbors!"

~Richard

Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

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Originally Posted by Geezer

Farmer or no;
"The best things to cultivate are friends and neighbors!"

~Richard

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Like weed out the good ones, and plant the others deeeep in the ground [emoji23]

Fortunately we suffer from arrested development!
~Richard

I found out today at work how bad my rad really was, or I've been restoring too many razors.
While working on repainting the bottom of a sail boat,

Hit the wrong thing sorry.
I looked at this and said, you gotta be kidding, another blade to clean upAttachment 202142Attachment 202143
Is it RAD or me[emoji1]

"Change in all things is sweet."

- Aristotle

Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed.


rs,
Tack

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Phrank

"Change in all things is sweet."
- Aristotle

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Obviously not a father changing a diaper!

~Richard

Spider Web: A thing you walk into which suddenly turns you into a karate master.

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Originally Posted by rolodave

Spider Web: A thing you walk into which suddenly turns you into a karate master.

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...............:roflmao

So this weekend we went to my sons, strapping weight lifter dude, for a BBQ, he walked out the door to the patio and straight into a spider web at head height, Yup, Bruce Lee incarnate, high pitched girly scream, slapping himself to get the web off his face.

The spider went flying landing on the floor. Then he started the rain-dance to kill it, without it jumping on him.

My 18 month old granddaughter calmly walked over, filled with curiosity and squished it with toe of her tennis shoe and squatted down to inspect her work, poking it with her finger.

Her dad recomposed himself enough to grab her and yank her away, saving her from the deadly spider. She looked at him like he was crazy…

Quote:

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Originally Posted by rolodave

Spider Web: A thing you walk into which suddenly turns you into a karate master.

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Ha...     :rofl2:

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Originally Posted by Euclid440

So this weekend we went to my sons, strapping weight lifter dude, for a BBQ, he walked out the door to the patio and straight into a spider web at head height, Yup, Bruce Lee incarnate, high pitched girly scream, slapping himself to get the web off his face.
..

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I know a guy just like that.. a big, muscular guy who is deathly afraid of snakes.   Any snake, even a little worm-sized snake, will make him find grips in a smooth wall.


rs,
Tack

My wife has no fear of snakes. Saw her once move a garter snake out of the way when she was working in the garden.
However, let a small, warm blooded, scared to death mouse appear and the squeals commence.
Go figure.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Euclid440

So this weekend we went to my sons, strapping weight lifter dude, for a BBQ, he walked out the door to the patio and straight into a spider web at head height, Yup, Bruce Lee incarnate, high pitched girly scream, slapping himself to get the web off his face.

The spider went flying landing on the floor. Then he started the rain-dance to kill it, without it jumping on him.

My 18 month old granddaughter calmly walked over, filled with curiosity and squished it with toe of her tennis shoe and squatted down to inspect her work, poking it with her finger.

Her dad recomposed himself enough to grab her and yank her away, saving her from the deadly spider. She looked at him like he was crazy…

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This is a funny story.
Thank you

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Euclid440

So this weekend we went to my sons, strapping weight lifter dude, for a BBQ, he walked out the door to the patio and straight into a spider web at head height, Yup, Bruce Lee incarnate, high pitched girly scream, slapping himself to get the web off his face.

The spider went flying landing on the floor. Then he started the rain-dance to kill it, without it jumping on him.

My 18 month old granddaughter calmly walked over, filled with curiosity and squished it with toe of her tennis shoe and squatted down to inspect her work, poking it with her finger.

Her dad recomposed himself enough to grab her and yank her away, saving her from the deadly spider. She looked at him like he was crazy…

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I'd pay good money to have a DVD of that!!!!:rofl2:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by rolodave

My wife has no fear of snakes. Saw her once move a garter snake out of the way when she was working in the garden.
However, let a small, warm blooded, scared to death mouse appear and the squeals commence.
Go figure.

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Pick up this movie and have her watch it! Corny? YUP! But funny as all Holy Hell! I watched a thing about the making of the film and 90% was done with a trained mouse.

Here's a promotional clip;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgjUMHGjO0k

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Originally Posted by cudarunner

Pick up this movie and have her watch it! Corny? YUP! But funny as all Holy Hell! I watched a thing about the making of the film and 90% was done with a trained mouse.

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Ha, I'd forgotten about that one. It's a good movie, well worth looking up.

Thanks for the reminder.


rs,
Tack

All this talk about irrational fears reminded me of this quip:

I've discovered that I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.


rs,
Tack

I was taught to not scream when under water! However a shark could get me running on the surface and screaming!
~Richard

Quote:

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Originally Posted by cudarunner

Pick up this movie and have her watch it! Corny? YUP! But funny as all Holy Hell! I watched a thing about the making of the film and 90% was done with a trained mouse.

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We have watched that flick mainly to see Nathan lane.

Arachnophobia

http://i1303.photobucket.com/albums/...so4lq1qdk.jpeg

"I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio."
Rodney Dangerfield