Originally Posted by
crouton976
"I looked, and there before me was a pale horse! Its rider was named Barbasol, and Razor Burn was following close behind him. They were given power over 90% of the earth to antagonize by usury, dissatisfaction and discomfort, and by the multi-bladed objects of the earth."
Verily, I say unto you, brethren, that the sin lieth not in the instrument of shaving when found wanting and in need, but instead in the manner and methodology of the preparation for the Psalm of the Shaven!
Yea, though ye be destitute of gold, stricken by injury or affliction, or enslaved by that vexer of man known as "running late", I say unto you that your path out of damnation lies betwixt yon badger or boar brush and soap!!
Nay, do not be deceived, my brethren! Though the employ of a multi-blade instrument in your hour of need be not a damnable offense, though not in excess, lest ye be driven from the path of righteous shaves and skin as smooth as the hind quarters of babes, the fallacy of the so-called goo from a can will verily drive any man into the clutches of razor burn and discomfort, instilling in his soul a longing, nay, a yearning, nay, a RAVAGING HUNGER TO BE FREED FROM THE CHAINS OF OVERPRICED SHAVING INSTRUMENTS AND LATHER OF THE DRIEST VARIETY!!
Let us not forget our brethren who have come before, and let us pray for the salvation of those to come!