Thread: The subject is Heresy

"I looked, and there before me was a pale horse! Its rider was named Barbasol, and Razor Burn was following close behind him. They were given power over 90% of the earth to antagonize by usury, dissatisfaction and discomfort, and by the multi-bladed objects of the earth."

Verily, I say unto you, brethren, that the sin lieth not in the instrument of shaving when found wanting and in need, but instead in the manner and methodology of the preparation for the Psalm of the Shaven!

Yea, though ye be destitute of gold, stricken by injury or affliction, or enslaved by that vexer of man known as "running late", I say unto you that your path out of damnation lies betwixt yon badger or boar brush and soap!!

Nay, do not be deceived, my brethren! Though the employ of a multi-blade instrument in your hour of need be not a damnable offense, though not in excess, lest ye be driven from the path of righteous shaves and skin as smooth as the hind quarters of babes, the fallacy of the so-called goo from a can will verily drive any man into the clutches of razor burn and discomfort, instilling in his soul a longing, nay, a yearning, nay, a RAVAGING HUNGER TO BE FREED FROM THE CHAINS OF OVERPRICED SHAVING INSTRUMENTS AND LATHER OF THE DRIEST VARIETY!!

Let us not forget our brethren who have come before, and let us pray for the salvation of those to come!

Originally Posted by crouton976

"I looked, and there before me was a pale horse! Its rider was named Barbasol, and Razor Burn was following close behind him. They were given power over 90% of the earth to antagonize by usury, dissatisfaction and discomfort, and by the multi-bladed objects of the earth."

Verily, I say unto you, brethren, that the sin lieth not in the instrument of shaving when found wanting and in need, but instead in the manner and methodology of the preparation for the Psalm of the Shaven!

Yea, though ye be destitute of gold, stricken by injury or affliction, or enslaved by that vexer of man known as "running late", I say unto you that your path out of damnation lies betwixt yon badger or boar brush and soap!!

Nay, do not be deceived, my brethren! Though the employ of a multi-blade instrument in your hour of need be not a damnable offense, though not in excess, lest ye be driven from the path of righteous shaves and skin as smooth as the hind quarters of babes, the fallacy of the so-called goo from a can will verily drive any man into the clutches of razor burn and discomfort, instilling in his soul a longing, nay, a yearning, nay, a RAVAGING HUNGER TO BE FREED FROM THE CHAINS OF OVERPRICED SHAVING INSTRUMENTS AND LATHER OF THE DRIEST VARIETY!!

Let us not forget our brethren who have come before, and let us pray for the salvation of those to come!

The King James version

Its not your fault child, ditch the can and pick up a brush, the puck is your road to salvation.

Originally Posted by pfries

The King James version

Its not your fault child, ditch the can and pick up a brush, the puck is your road to salvation.

Yeah, well, you know... I like to keep it Olde School.

Originally Posted by crouton976

"I looked, and there before me was a pale horse! Its rider was named Barbasol, and Razor Burn was following close behind him. They were given power over 90% of the earth to antagonize by usury, dissatisfaction and discomfort, and by the multi-bladed objects of the earth."

Verily, I say unto you, brethren, that the sin lieth not in the instrument of shaving when found wanting and in need, but instead in the manner and methodology of the preparation for the Psalm of the Shaven!

Yea, though ye be destitute of gold, stricken by injury or affliction, or enslaved by that vexer of man known as "running late", I say unto you that your path out of damnation lies betwixt yon badger or boar brush and soap!!

Nay, do not be deceived, my brethren! Though the employ of a multi-blade instrument in your hour of need be not a damnable offense, though not in excess, lest ye be driven from the path of righteous shaves and skin as smooth as the hind quarters of babes, the fallacy of the so-called goo from a can will verily drive any man into the clutches of razor burn and discomfort, instilling in his soul a longing, nay, a yearning, nay, a RAVAGING HUNGER TO BE FREED FROM THE CHAINS OF OVERPRICED SHAVING INSTRUMENTS AND LATHER OF THE DRIEST VARIETY!!

Let us not forget our brethren who have come before, and let us pray for the salvation of those to come!

Blessing on you child, for you have spoken out of truth into the light. As Pope Razorfeld I dedicate my next Mass of the Shave to your beliefs and testament.

Lord have mercy! Can you say Hallelujah? Say it again! Come on...LOUDER!
Is this thread Blasphemous?

Originally Posted by sharptonn

Lord have mercy! Can you say Hallelujah? Say it again! Come on...LOUDER!
Is this thread Blasphemous?

Yes, yes it is.

But, indeed, and truly, one cannot debase oneself with a multi-blade object. We who elevated ourselves to a higher level of shaving comfort must go forth and spread the good word to all who will listen.
If they don't listen, t'ell wid em.

thanks Pope , hear our confessions and forgive us our sins tc

Originally Posted by tcrideshd

thanks Pope , hear our confessions and forgive us our sins tc

Heard, forgiven and forgotten. The Church asks only that when the Universe offers a chance to pay it forward and enlighten the dim sighted in the way of the lather and the blade that you respond with gladness, joy and warnings as to the perils of wrong pressure. The Deacons, my pillars of faith, and I shall each, in our own times and time zones, remember you in out daily Mass of the Shave. I will say an additional 5 Our Lynn's and 5 Hail Glen's to speed your redemption this day.