Today was a two steps forward one step back day.
Joan started her dialysis this morning and she has another session this afternoon.
She didn't open her eyes today but she held my hand and squeezed, the nurses say its just random movement, what they call localization but they decided to agree that she knew i was there after a suitable and very loud conversation.
Maybe later today or tomorrow they say they will take her off the ventilator because they say she is breathing on her own and the vent is turned very low just for support if she needs it. I am not to HP but what can i do.
if she breathes on her own excellent but if she doesn't they have two options, put her back on or tracheotomy
I don't want the trach because she couldn't talk but their argument is that she probably can't anyway and it may be temporary, when she can breathe and cough herself they can remove it, she wont be pleased with the scar though, she is a woman and you know how that is likely to go over.
I made it absolutely crystal clear that now she opened her eyes and looked straight at me (I don't sodding care that they don't believe me), I will take her home in whatever condition she finally achieves.
I will buy a hospital bed for the bedroom and i will have a nurse in every day and i will put a TV in the room, I will cook, clean and dedicate my life to her care if necessary.
They will never ever end her, she is not being put down like damn dog.
She gave me 20 years and I will give her the rest of my life if she needs it.
Anyway, she will be waking up properly, i just shaved with Candy Cane for her because its December.
The advantage to the trach they said is that if she doesn't improve and I choose to take care of her instead of facility, the trach would be necessary because obviously I cant have a ventilator at home.
Letting her go was off the table the minute she opened her eyes. Thank god they cant make those decisions without my consent.
We are talking months down the road before she leaves the hospital anyway and I'm sure she will be awake enough to complain that I need a haircut, I gonna make she has some thing to tell me off for, it will be the happiest day off my life.