Our friend Steve

On this last day of Movember I make a plea for our friend Steve (STF). As if the health problems he has been experiencing himself that many of you know about weren't trial enough, now his wife has had a massive stroke a few days ago and is in critical condition. As one would expect he is devastated and fearing the worst. I implore all of his friends here to give him support in whatever way you see fit. If you are the type to do so, as I am, please send up urgent prayers for both of them. "The prayer of a righteous man is powerful an effective." JS 5:16 He is in danger of reaching despair and whatever support we can give him is vital now.

I am praying in earnest for him and trying my best to give him hope. It breaks my heart to see him in such pain and I only wish that I were closer geographically. I will be happy to get messages to him for any who are not able to reach him through PMs. I will also keep you posted as this unfolds.

Lord's strength and healing to both...

Sorry to hear. Steve seems a strong guy, but this sounds challenging. My best to him and his wife.
Will keep them in prayers.

My thoughts and prayers with you and your wife Steve.

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I am so sorry to hear this. I wish them both the best of outcomes.

Will be putting out positive vibes for them both.
Thanks for the update Paul.

God bless you, Steve, your wife, family and friends.

Stay strong Steve.

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Originally Posted by PaulFLUS

On this last day of Movember I make a plea for our friend Steve (STF). As if the health problems he has been experiencing himself that many of you know about weren't trial enough, now his wife has had a massive stroke a few days ago and is in critical condition. As one would expect he is devastated and fearing the worst. I implore all of his friends here to give him support in whatever way you see fit. If you are the type to do so, as I am, please send up urgent prayers for both of them. "The prayer of a righteous man is powerful an effective." JS 5:16 He is in danger of reaching despair and whatever support we can give him is vital now.

I am praying in earnest for him and trying my best to give him hope. It breaks my heart to see him in such pain and I only wish that I were closer geographically. I will be happy to get messages to him for any who are not able to reach him through PMs. I will also keep you posted as this unfolds.

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Thank you and please forward our best wishes for him and his family!!

Thank you all. I have been in touch with Steve today. So far I have not heard about any substantial developments. Sometimes no news is good news. I have shared with him your prayers and well.wishes and urged him to eat and sleep. We sometimes forget that we need this to be there for our loved ones.

I'll keep everyone posted.

Steve is really hurting. This is an excerpt from an email I received from him today:

She needs to know people are rooting for her then she will wake up and come back to me, please make her come back to me...

...This is her address, please put it on the forum so everyone can see, ask them to send her a get well or Christmas card then she will wake up and come home
Tell them Ill pay for the cards and postage with PayPal, I don’t mind, she will wake up then
Oh shit what will I do,


Windsor Regional hospital
Intensive Care unit
Room 336
Ouellette Campus
1030 Ouellette Avenue
Windsor
Ontario
N9A 1E1

Please let everyone see it
She will wake up soon, please make her wake up...

Your friend
Steve

I don't know what he needs most but I wanted to post this as he requested. He is looking for support from his friends and he feels all alone.

Joan lake, her name is Joan Lake.

Sorry, think I knew that and forgot to add it. My apologies, having to work late todayand my attention is split.
Hang in there Steve.

An update from Steve. Obviously he is still very distraught and overloaded with not only pain but information and im sure suffering from sleep deprivation. As such some of his report is a little disjointed so I'll summarize rather than quote.

She has had some tests and the news is not totally devastating although she is not yet conscious and far from out of the woods. It appears that they are NOT saying her brain is damaged beyond hope. They plan to do an EEG (it sounds like) which should tell more. Until then he is just hoping for good news.

This part I will quote.

"What’s ever prayers your saying, make them all for her, the guys must be sending good thoughts, please all keep it up, she isn’t finished yet, if she has a good result from the ekg thing [EEG?] on her brain and if she just opens her eyes she will be back to me.
Please keep it it up everyone, it my [may] be working.

Your friend
Steve"

I have given him the messages and wishes I have received from you all and have assured.him that we will continue to pray for them both.

Today Joan opened her eyes, sweet Jesus she opened her eyes.

She isn't responding to movement or me yet but she has her eyes open periodically. She's been asleep for 11 days so I'm not surprised she isn't registering or focusing, it will take time and I am sure she will be better tomorrow.

The neurologist assessed her this afternoon to establish if what she has with her head is the best she will ever have, I don't know what was decided until tomorrow but if they say anything other than she is slowly waking and in a few days everything will be much better they don't know what there damn well talking about.

Anyway the prognosis must be good, they're starting dialysis right now, they just phoned for permission and they wouldn't be doing that if she wasn't getting better.

Thanks for the good thoughts guys, when she gets home to me I'm sure she will come here and thank you all personally.

I'm so happy, OMG.

Outstanding!

Positive sign 4 sure.
Stay strong.

Good to hear, Steve.

Thanks to everyone for your support and thanks to Paul for keeping you updated wile i couldnt.
Illl let you now what happened afetr i get back from the hospital everyday

Fantastic!

Keep up the good spirit Steve.

Today was a two steps forward one step back day.

Joan started her dialysis this morning and she has another session this afternoon.

She didn't open her eyes today but she held my hand and squeezed, the nurses say its just random movement, what they call localization but they decided to agree that she knew i was there after a suitable and very loud conversation.

Maybe later today or tomorrow they say they will take her off the ventilator because they say she is breathing on her own and the vent is turned very low just for support if she needs it. I am not to HP but what can i do.
if she breathes on her own excellent but if she doesn't they have two options, put her back on or tracheotomy
I don't want the trach because she couldn't talk but their argument is that she probably can't anyway and it may be temporary, when she can breathe and cough herself they can remove it, she wont be pleased with the scar though, she is a woman and you know how that is likely to go over.

I made it absolutely crystal clear that now she opened her eyes and looked straight at me (I don't sodding care that they don't believe me), I will take her home in whatever condition she finally achieves.

I will buy a hospital bed for the bedroom and i will have a nurse in every day and i will put a TV in the room, I will cook, clean and dedicate my life to her care if necessary.

They will never ever end her, she is not being put down like damn dog.

She gave me 20 years and I will give her the rest of my life if she needs it.

Anyway, she will be waking up properly, i just shaved with Candy Cane for her because its December.

The advantage to the trach they said is that if she doesn't improve and I choose to take care of her instead of facility, the trach would be necessary because obviously I cant have a ventilator at home.

Letting her go was off the table the minute she opened her eyes. Thank god they cant make those decisions without my consent.

We are talking months down the road before she leaves the hospital anyway and I'm sure she will be awake enough to complain that I need a haircut, I gonna make she has some thing to tell me off for, it will be the happiest day off my life.

Prepare yourself, buddy. They get plenty cranky, once home. I've dealt with a couple of um. Had to put my foot in my own pops ass, set him straight. Just as he did to us.:rofl2: I even had to do his dialysis, too.

It was taxing..but I'd go thru it all again , for a few more moments with him. I've fought off the grim reaper three times, now. So I'm on borrowed time, myself. Living day by day to the fullest,for as long as this ol body will let me.

Hang in there. Life's a journey...not a destination.

Yes, you are well advised to brace yourself. We intended to keep my mother at home. I found out quickly that it was more task than we were up to. Her issue was dementia not total care but the emphasis is on the word care which she needed a lot of. My brother and his wife did keep her at home until she died in September this year. I honestly don't know how.

On the other hand, doctors don't know everything. My niece was in a devastating car accident. She died and was resuscitated three times during her initial surgery. Doctors told her she would never walk again. My sister in law who is a nurse practitioner took his dumb ass into the hall and read him the riot act. Through a ton of therapy and a tremendous amount of hard work she proved them wrong. First it was with a walker, then the arm canes to a single cane. Now she can walk without them. Still, she will never be the same so realism is key but the point is she had hope. Where there is hope there is a chance. Where there is a chance there is a way. Keep your spirits up my friend. You're going to need them up. But also don't let go of hope.

I have just got home from the hospital.

Joan was about to have her dialysis.

Today she opened her eyes again, she looked at me and she squeezed my hand, I saw it, I believe it, I was ready to have another world class argument with them when they tried to tell me i was seeing things because i want them so much but the nurse yes she looked at me this morning she focused and saw me. Not for very long but it was real.

I was so happy i almost kissed her but I remembered just in time that I'm old and Joan was watching or hearing so i didn't.

I was so happy someone else saw too.

They have warned me that its not impossible that she wont improve but the nurse looked through the notes and told me quietly that she being doing this for a long time and seen hundreds of stroke patients as bad or worse and its incredible how some come back.

Her CT was worse 2 days ago than the previous one just after she was admitted but the nurse said not to read too much into it as its like when you bang yourself, the first day is a red mark the 3rd day it looks so much worse with a big ugly bruise.

she will get another CT today or tomorrow and their hope is that it shows an improvement or at least no worse. She has a clot they cant remove a brain bleed that they hope will have stopped and her brain swelled from the bleeding, she also has damage from the bleed and the clot and the stroke, its a question of how much.

They decided not to try and remove the ventilator until she is more awake in case she has breathing problems or starts to choke, which I agree with completely.

She has so many ports for IV's, a central line thing, a bit like my picc but its much bigger and in her neck, she has a port for her dialysis and other ones that i forgot to ask about. i took a picture of her so she can look back whens she's OK gain, the nurse got all out of her pram because apparently no one can take photo's.

Anyway, that's today's news.

I know she has a long road to hoe and there's no promises but I'm starting to feel a bit like me, for a while there I was in a right mess. Thanks for the support guys, keep the good thought up for Joan, I'm convinced their helping her.

If this isn't true love, then I don't know what is! I can only hope that when the time comes, I'll have your courage and passion.

Godspeed Steve!

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Originally Posted by Johntoad57

If this isn't true love, then I don't know what is! I can only hope that when the time comes, I'll have your courage and passion.

Godspeed Steve!

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I hope on everything that's holy the time never comes when you have to through this, i would give my right arm and both nuts if she would tell me she wanted a cup of tea tomorrow when i arrive but i know there is no chance, YET.

I just got back.
Joan wouldn't open her eyes today but we could tell when she woke up by the breathing rate on her beepy thing, that shows her blood pressure and O2 etc.

She held my hand again and when i put my hand on the side of her face she turned and sort of snuggled into it.

She had her ct scan but typical of the neuoro types that think there to important to talk to us mere mortals he read it and walked away without seeing her or talking to me.

The nurse said his report will be in the notes tomorrow so here's another day of waiting to see if the most important person in my life has improved.

I went to bed at 11pm last night and i was exhausted so i fell asleep, i set my alarm for 5am so I'm ready to go at 8:30.

I got up and brushed my teeth, washed. I was exhausted, that's when i looked at my watch, 1:15.

Something has to give, I'm averaging 2 hours sleep.

I don't care, if she wakes up and talks or even just shows me she knows I'm there I will sleep then, for hours.

I don't eat hardy but the bright side if there is one is that I have lost so much weight since 25 November that my jeans are almost falling down, i can afford to lose a bit so I'm definitely not upset about that.

Interestingly, i haven't been for a week, that's OK too because i don't like getting that cheap toilet paper, and the comfy bum is expensive, i spend most of my money on gas, it an hour to the hospital each way and i go every single day, I going to do that for as long as she needs me to.

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Interestingly, i haven't been for a week, that's OK too because i don't like getting that cheap toilet paper, and the comfy bum is expensive, i spend most of my money on gas, it an hour to the hospital each way and i go every single day, I going to do that for as long as she needs me to.

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Get some baby wipes (Equate, 80 wipes/package, less than $2 at Walmart) -- cheap enough that you can spring for two. You'll be glad you did.
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Wow this is heavy. I haven't been checking the boards much lately so I am just now reading this thread. I am really glad you are seeing some light at the end of the tunnel and it does sound like some degree of recovery is very probable. Any progress she makes is probably because she doesn't want to leave you all alone. Right now you are the light that is holding her here. So do take care of yourself, Steve. You MUST budget some sleep time and use it for sleeping. You need to eat, too. Even a protein bar and a coffee is better than nothing, It will restore and energize you. What good are you to her if you nod off on the drive to the hospital and run off the road, or worse? Take care of yourself Steve, because she needs you as much as she needs all those doctors and nurses and stuff. She is counting on you so keep yourself together. Don't run yourself into the ground. Sorry if I am preaching too much.

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Originally Posted by JBHoren

Get some baby wipes (Equate, 80 wipes/package, less than $2 at Walmart) -- cheap enough that you can spring for two. You'll be glad you did.
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Just don't try to flush them down the toilet.....

At my work we spend thosands a month cleaning them out and much more for the damage of overflows!

Not sure I would want to wipe me Harris with a wet wipe to be honest.

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Originally Posted by CrescentCityRazors

Wow this is heavy. I haven't been checking the boards much lately so I am just now reading this thread. I am really glad you are seeing some light at the end of the tunnel and it does sound like some degree of recovery is very probable. Any progress she makes is probably because she doesn't want to leave you all alone. Right now you are the light that is holding her here. So do take care of yourself, Steve. You MUST budget some sleep time and use it for sleeping. You need to eat, too. Even a protein bar and a coffee is better than nothing, It will restore and energize you. What good are you to her if you nod off on the drive to the hospital and run off the road, or worse? Take care of yourself Steve, because she needs you as much as she needs all those doctors and nurses and stuff. She is counting on you so keep yourself together. Don't run yourself into the ground. Sorry if I am preaching too much.

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Your not lecturing and you make a lot of sense but Its not a question of making time to sleep, its just not happening and I have always got an ear open for the phone from the hospital.

As far as eating, Joan has some boost meal replacement drinks, there pretty nasty but they wont keep so I have one of those sometimes and try to eat as often as i can, I had cereal last night and beans on toast the night before. I don't bother with lunch because I'm always in the car or cleaning, the house has to be perfect for when she comes home and its taking a while because I'm a lazy slob and I'm too tired so i sit an look out of the window a lot waiting to make the next person to let their dog crap on my lawn cry.

Just got Back.

Joan opened eyes once when the nurse push something into her lung and pull it out to make her cough, she didn't' like that her eyes moved around like she was actually looking and i think she looked at me but this time I'm not sure.
Her head CT was the same as last time, no improvement but not worse so that's something to be thankful for.

She is still asleep for 99% of the time and shes at the very least paralyzed down her right side, but you know what, if that's the worst of it and her mind comes back to me, I will sell this place, get a bungalow or Condo and push her in her wheelchair everyday so she can breathe the air and hear the birds, I'll pack us up a picnic and push her to the lake for a couple of hours, so she can watch the water while i read some Ken Follet to her, she likes him.

Just got back.

Joan has had her ventilator turned back up to full.
The doctors want me in late tomorrow at 1pm because they want a meeting and to udate me
I haven't smoked for 20 years, until the pack i got today, there doesn't seem much point in being good.

I heard a county song today, pressure makes diamond, whoever wrote that shit has never had any.

I can't talk now. Im losing her, shes slip christ

Prayers for you buddy

look what i got, im ashamed of myself but what the hell, I dont have much else right now.

Attachment 350455

I just got back.

Joan had her eyes open for an hour, she heard me, she took my hand.
she responded and wiggled her fingers when the nurse asked her too.
she is paralyzed on her right side, she probably wont be able talk and her eyes only go from the center to the left because of the right side paralysis.

It was the best day I can remember I'm so happy, I knew she was going to come back to me.

The said she's not out of the woods yet, she is still on dialysis, her heart is really bad, her ventilator is back on full because she has pneumonia and she will always get it a lot.
I don't mind taking care of all her problems at home eventually as long as she can look at me and see the TV.

I will do everything she needs and if she can only make noises i will learn her new language.

I'm so happy, I'm sending my pipe back.

Just got back.

I didn't get too long with Joan today because they were setting up her dialysis and I had to stay in the waiting room because its all masks and gloves.

She was out today but she held my hand when i spoke to and when the nurse opened her eyes she followed her finger mostly so I'm still happy.

I have been preoccupied and upset so i haven't thought to thank them for the care they're giving Joan but I will be in on Christmas Day as every day so i have decided to get a couple of tins of Quality Street and a tin off cookies to leave with a note expressing my appreciation.

I hope that will make up for it and show them I am grateful.

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Originally Posted by STF

look what i got, im ashamed of myself but what the hell, I dont have much else right now.

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Don't be ashamed mate, you can't look after Joan if you can't look after yourself. If that means buying a pipe and having a bowl then that's what you've got to do

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Originally Posted by STF

look what i got, im ashamed of myself but what the hell, I dont have much else right now.

Attachment 350455

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Well, I think a pipe is a great way to make yourself sit back and think, in a relaxed but rational manner, especially about how good the positive things are and how to best face and mitigate the negative things. Cigars are for pure selfish enjoyment. A pipe, on the other hand, is for meditating. And maybe your wife enjoys the smell of a pipe? A daily pipe might be just the thing for you. Or maybe not. But certainly nothing shameful or frivolous. Once we reach a certain age, it is a pretty safe bet that we will die from something else long before smoking a pipe will kill us, particularly if we don't deliberately inhale.