I don't know the situation with your friend's wife and she has my sympathies. Is it specifically because of a new law or something that her work status has changed? I completely agree that the bloated bureaucracy is doing a terrible job in the execution of security measures. And that is unacceptable, but I don’t' think we should throw the baby out with the bathwater. Again, I don't think that these examples have ever been essential liberties guaranteed to American citizens. Situations change and documentation requirements change with them. That area has always been the purview of the government. That's nothing new.
The other issues (passports - why is it a big deal to get a passport once every 10 years? - and not being able to go to Canada for dinner) sound more like a matter of convenience than freedoms. When we are at war, we need to make sacrifices and convenience often comes first. People made relatively big sacrifices during WWII for example.
The government has done a poor job explaining why they are doing what they are doing. They're afraid to ask us to make sacrifices and that is a mistake. They should trust us to do that.
If a policeman stops me while I'm walking down the street in my suburban town because of some new "anti-terrorist" law, then you're right. Given the context it would be ridiculous. If a state trooper checks my bag while I'm on a crowded commuter train travelling to an obvious target, that's a different story. There may have been threats; you have the London bombings, etc. Under the circumstances, it’s appropriate. Again, this is common sense. What law btw specifically allows our police to stop people randomly and without cause? - as if police couldn't find a reason to stop you if they wanted to before 9/11.
I think we just disagree on what constitutes governmental meddling in the life of an average law-abiding citizen. To me, it sounds like much of the concern is on a conceptual level. I'm convinced that I've not lost any essential freedoms nor has anyone I know.
I certainly respect your concerns and I'm not trying to denigrate them. I just don't understand them all that well. :D
Jordan