Smart-Ass answers

Back when I used to swim laps in the AM, I would shower and shave at the gym. Using a straight in public will always get you looks. In my case, though, at 6:00 AM, I had the locker room to myself for the most part. I was always expecting the question "Dude, why're you shaving with a straight razor!?" and I wanted to give a smart-ass answer. Since I am, in fact, a dumb-ass, that means I had to do some prep work in order to seem like a smart-ass, so I thought up a few. Please add to this list if you have any good ones;

"Why are you using a straight razor?"

"Because I'm straight"



"Why are you using a straight razor?"

"I don't want to try one of those new-fangled ones until they perfect the technology. I don't think they got all the bugs out yet"



"Why are you using a straight razor?"

"Why are you spending money on something you'll throw in the trash after you use it a few times?"



"Why are you using a straight razor?"

"To shave the whiskers off of my face. Is this a trick question?"



"Why are you using a straight razor?"

"Because tweezing my beard would probably make me cry"



"Dude, is that your grandpa's razor?"

"Yeah, is that your grandma's?"



"Why not use a disposable?"

"This is disposable, my great-great-grandson will be able to throw it away when it's not any good"



"Why not use a safety razor?"

"Do you still have training wheels on your bicycle?"

When asked why I use a straight razor, I simply reply that Chuck Norris uses a machete, but since I'm not as awesome as he is, I'm forced to use the next best thing.

I'd be very careful what you say to a man who is watching you shaving.

But I suppose there is no harm in telling the truth. Just say that you enjoy having a good shave. I don't think saying anymore adds any value really.

1. 1/5 the blades, Twice the man.

2. Why? What do you shave with Nancy?

3. Do you always watch other men groom or is this a new hobby?

4. Any fool can give himself razor burn, it takes a true gentleman to shave properly.

5. Is there any other way?

6. Ever hold this sharp of a blade this close to your throat on a monday morning? You learn stuff about yourself man.

7. Oh, I ran out of cartridges for my razor, this is my wife's I am just using it for the morning.

8. Shaving like this got my Grandpa lucky. (I am pretty sure I read this one someplace:hmmm:)

9. Actually, I've never done this before. It's pretty easy, you should try it!

10. Any fool can shave unhappily as though it is a chore. I chose to seek perfection in all that I do by elevating even the mundane to art. And I am a cheap bastard who doesn't like spend thousands of dollars a year on cartridges. Okay, mostly it's the cheap bastard thing...

"Why are you shaving with a straight razor? Ha!"

"Get the f**k away from me!!" *Turn around and make a few frantic swipes at the air*

Ha.

"Because it's a cooler than disposables or electrics."

In my experience, the uninitiated guys don't believe/care that the shave is better, but they can't deny the cool-ness.

[quote=joesixpack;227740]



"Why are you using a straight razor?"

"I don't want to try one of those new-fangled ones until they perfect the technology. I don't think they got all the bugs out yet"

quote]

I like this one.

Why not? It works great, I get a good shave, and it beats the old Edge and Gillette I used to have. If you're curious, I definitely recommend it, there's a few websites I can point you to that will save you a lot of pain and money...




>Actually, the first time I became interested in using a straight was around 10 years ago, one of my coworkers at the squadron mentioned he used one and would never go back. A short discussion later and I had to have one. It took several years until it finally "took" however. I had a razor that I ended up sharpening like a knife and trying to "strop" on the side of my boot. Needless to say it didn't work. A few years after that, armed with new razors (Pakistani, then soon after 2 Dovos) I found the SRP Yahoo site.
And the sickness began.


If a guy is watching you shave with a straight-chances are he deep down wonders if it would work for him, also.


Just my opinion.

John P.

Why are you shaving with a straight razor?

1) I tried a crooked razor and it just took way too long.

2) I received this in the mail as part of a will from my grandfather and thought I would try it out this morning.

3) I was fascinated with name "cut throat" and thought I would give it a spin and see what happened.

4) I tried shaving with my pocket knife but the blade wasn't quite long enough.

5) My fish filet knife worked so well during my last shave that I thought I would try using something specifically designed for the purpose.

6) I cut myself on the microscreen of my electric shaver so I thought I would use something safer.

7) My Bowie knife is out for sharpening so I had to resort to one of these puny things for shaving.

8) Well, it worked so well last weekend for skinning out our deer after the hunt that I thought I would try it for just removing hair.

Q.) "Why are you shaving with a straight razor???

A.) "Because" looking as serious as you possibley can "I don't want my face to end up looking as ugly as yers"

And always remember when it is all said and done I would much rather be thought of as a "Smartass" then to be known as a "Dumbass" :roflmao:roflmao:roflmao

There is nothing like putting very sharp cold steel to your throat to teach you perspective.



It's like meditating only with more adrenaline.

This is how REAL men shave...

"Dude, why're you shaving with a straight razor?"

It worked so good with your sister I thought I'd try it for myself

Quote:

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Originally Posted by sicboater

1. 1/5 the blades, Twice the man.

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Unless you tape 5 Straight razors together and use that. Gillete Fusion, eat your hear out (hey, I might just try that)!

As for the response, I would have gone with, "I'm shaving with this because it's too expensive to fill up my chainsaw."

Quote:

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Originally Posted by jockeys

When asked why I use a straight razor, I simply reply that Chuck Norris uses a machete, but since I'm not as awesome as he is, I'm forced to use the next best thing.

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What about Steven Segall?

"Why do you shave with a straight razor?"

"you know, I'm glad you asked me that because a few other folks have asked me the same thing and it reminds me, Ive gotta think of an answer! Thank you!"

Although a few of the other answers here a pretty good also.


Dave

judging by his physical degradation, I would say he decided to go for the pork chops and gave up on personal hygiene altogether.

Why do you shave with a straight razor?

I have too much blood, I need to get some of it out periodically.

I've always wanted a thin face, this way I shave some cheek off every morning.

Q: Why are you using a straight razor?

A: What? This? Oh, it's not a razor, it's just a really worn out comb.

A: Are you trying to say I should be using some kind of gay razor? You prick.

A: There are other kinds of razors?

A: Oh, I don't know... Why does anyone shave with what they do? What made you choose the Venus Devine?

A: I tried using a Mach 3 once, but I thought it was giving me a rash. Turned out I was sprouting a vagina so I thought I better stop.

A: I was planing on taking a leak later, would you like to critique how I do that as well?

A: (move razor away from throat and grab area you were shaving, start screaming) Gaaaaaaaah! Gaaaaaaaaaah! Aaaaaaaaaaah! And that's why you don't bother someone with a razor blade against their neck!

A: What's up next? Whether I wear jockeys or briefs?

A: I once tried using a disposable... but I got disposable confused with edible. I'm not making that mistake again!

A: I think safety razors are for the physically or mentally disabled... Why? What do you use? (you need to use a super innocent voice for that one)

A: I used to use a little weasel with super big teeth, but I got sick of it's "You think you have a tough job" and "It's a living" comments. (Flintstones? Anyone?)

Actual suggested answer: Because once you get over the first couple shaves learning curve, it provides a very nice, comfortable shave, not to mention how close it is. Besides, I enjoy the old timey aspects of it. It's actually a lot easier and safer than it looks, you should give it a try some time. I'd be more than happy to give you any advice or help you may need.

Q. Why the hell do you use a straight razor?

A. Because I can.....




v/r

Allen

MAN are you crazy, why do you use a straight razor?


It works for your mother!";"

Being an honest to goodness self=made smart ass. Number 9 is something I'd say. Gotta love it.

LIMIT

Another option would be to eschew being a dick and take the opportunity
to extol some of the many fine virtues of the straight razor... ;)

- Scott

I prefer my razors like my sexuality..

Better, cheaper, cooler... what's not to love?

Why are you using a straight razor?

A: Here, take this towel, have a seat, I'll show you why.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by sebell

Another option would be to eschew being a dick and take the opportunity
to extol some of the many fine virtues of the straight razor... ;)

- Scott

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Sorry, the very title of this thread is "Smart-ass answers." Though your answer is probably the best one, the smart-assed answers are funnier, and that's what this thread is all about.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by joesixpack

Sorry, the very title of this thread is "Smart-ass answers." Though your answer is probably the best one, the smart-assed answers are funnier, and that's what this thread is all about.

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I like it when people get serious about funny :)

(exerpt from an actual conversation i had with my brother.)

A straight razor is a man's razor, designed by men for men, and pounded out by a man with a hammer...
Your razor is made by a machine, It's 2 strips of foil stuffed in plastic, and regardless of what they say there is no difference between the blue ones and the pink ones.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Mike_ratliff

... and regardless of what they say there is no difference between the blue ones and the pink ones.

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:D Nice one!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by sicboater

9. Actually, I've never done this before. It's pretty easy, you should try it!

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Better! :roflmao

"It's not straight, if you look real close it is octagonal." Holding the blade out towards their eyes...

It's not a razor it is a rift in the time space continuum, but it does work for shaving.

A. This way i have a really good weapon for when people annoy me whilst I'm shaving, ever tried attacking the bathroom ninjas with a mach3?