Thread: Smart-Ass answers

Back when I used to swim laps in the AM, I would shower and shave at the gym. Using a straight in public will always get you looks. In my case, though, at 6:00 AM, I had the locker room to myself for the most part. I was always expecting the question "Dude, why're you shaving with a straight razor!?" and I wanted to give a smart-ass answer. Since I am, in fact, a dumb-ass, that means I had to do some prep work in order to seem like a smart-ass, so I thought up a few. Please add to this list if you have any good ones;

"Why are you using a straight razor?"

"Because I'm straight"



"Why are you using a straight razor?"

"I don't want to try one of those new-fangled ones until they perfect the technology. I don't think they got all the bugs out yet"



"Why are you using a straight razor?"

"Why are you spending money on something you'll throw in the trash after you use it a few times?"



"Why are you using a straight razor?"

"To shave the whiskers off of my face. Is this a trick question?"



"Why are you using a straight razor?"

"Because tweezing my beard would probably make me cry"



"Dude, is that your grandpa's razor?"

"Yeah, is that your grandma's?"



"Why not use a disposable?"

"This is disposable, my great-great-grandson will be able to throw it away when it's not any good"



"Why not use a safety razor?"

"Do you still have training wheels on your bicycle?"

When asked why I use a straight razor, I simply reply that Chuck Norris uses a machete, but since I'm not as awesome as he is, I'm forced to use the next best thing.

I'd be very careful what you say to a man who is watching you shaving.

But I suppose there is no harm in telling the truth. Just say that you enjoy having a good shave. I don't think saying anymore adds any value really.

1. 1/5 the blades, Twice the man.

2. Why? What do you shave with Nancy?

3. Do you always watch other men groom or is this a new hobby?

4. Any fool can give himself razor burn, it takes a true gentleman to shave properly.

5. Is there any other way?

6. Ever hold this sharp of a blade this close to your throat on a monday morning? You learn stuff about yourself man.

7. Oh, I ran out of cartridges for my razor, this is my wife's I am just using it for the morning.

8. Shaving like this got my Grandpa lucky. (I am pretty sure I read this one someplace)

9. Actually, I've never done this before. It's pretty easy, you should try it!

10. Any fool can shave unhappily as though it is a chore. I chose to seek perfection in all that I do by elevating even the mundane to art. And I am a cheap bastard who doesn't like spend thousands of dollars a year on cartridges. Okay, mostly it's the cheap bastard thing...

"Why are you shaving with a straight razor? Ha!"

"Get the f**k away from me!!" *Turn around and make a few frantic swipes at the air*

Ha.

"Because it's a cooler than disposables or electrics."

In my experience, the uninitiated guys don't believe/care that the shave is better, but they can't deny the cool-ness.

Why not? It works great, I get a good shave, and it beats the old Edge and Gillette I used to have. If you're curious, I definitely recommend it, there's a few websites I can point you to that will save you a lot of pain and money...




>Actually, the first time I became interested in using a straight was around 10 years ago, one of my coworkers at the squadron mentioned he used one and would never go back. A short discussion later and I had to have one. It took several years until it finally "took" however. I had a razor that I ended up sharpening like a knife and trying to "strop" on the side of my boot. Needless to say it didn't work. A few years after that, armed with new razors (Pakistani, then soon after 2 Dovos) I found the SRP Yahoo site.
And the sickness began.


If a guy is watching you shave with a straight-chances are he deep down wonders if it would work for him, also.


Just my opinion.

John P.

Why are you shaving with a straight razor?

1) I tried a crooked razor and it just took way too long.

2) I received this in the mail as part of a will from my grandfather and thought I would try it out this morning.

3) I was fascinated with name "cut throat" and thought I would give it a spin and see what happened.

4) I tried shaving with my pocket knife but the blade wasn't quite long enough.

5) My fish filet knife worked so well during my last shave that I thought I would try using something specifically designed for the purpose.

6) I cut myself on the microscreen of my electric shaver so I thought I would use something safer.

7) My Bowie knife is out for sharpening so I had to resort to one of these puny things for shaving.

8) Well, it worked so well last weekend for skinning out our deer after the hunt that I thought I would try it for just removing hair.

Originally Posted by sicboater

1. 1/5 the blades, Twice the man.

Unless you tape 5 Straight razors together and use that. Gillete Fusion, eat your hear out (hey, I might just try that)!

As for the response, I would have gone with, "I'm shaving with this because it's too expensive to fill up my chainsaw."

Being an honest to goodness self=made smart ass. Number 9 is something I'd say. Gotta love it.

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