Back when I used to swim laps in the AM, I would shower and shave at the gym. Using a straight in public will always get you looks. In my case, though, at 6:00 AM, I had the locker room to myself for the most part. I was always expecting the question "Dude, why're you shaving with a straight razor!?" and I wanted to give a smart-ass answer. Since I am, in fact, a dumb-ass, that means I had to do some prep work in order to seem like a smart-ass, so I thought up a few. Please add to this list if you have any good ones;

"Why are you using a straight razor?"

"Because I'm straight"



"Why are you using a straight razor?"

"I don't want to try one of those new-fangled ones until they perfect the technology. I don't think they got all the bugs out yet"



"Why are you using a straight razor?"

"Why are you spending money on something you'll throw in the trash after you use it a few times?"



"Why are you using a straight razor?"

"To shave the whiskers off of my face. Is this a trick question?"



"Why are you using a straight razor?"

"Because tweezing my beard would probably make me cry"



"Dude, is that your grandpa's razor?"

"Yeah, is that your grandma's?"



"Why not use a disposable?"

"This is disposable, my great-great-grandson will be able to throw it away when it's not any good"



"Why not use a safety razor?"

"Do you still have training wheels on your bicycle?"