CULTURE DIFFERENCES I NEED HELP ON THIS

[hi_bud_gl]

My qustion is why in SRP if someone makes mistake and none of us want to tell person you made mistake .This deal is bad etc etc.
Is this American Culture not to hurt person who made mistake.I want to understand this if anyone can explain to me i would appreciate.
My understanding is this
if person make mistake you have to be honest with it and say to that person.He / She will learn from it and future will be more careful ask questions etc .to do something.
Now in my culture it is not bad at all.
as everyone makes mistakes and learn from it doesn't matter how old are you or had experience.
IN srp PLease check any post which mention to person who has done mistake and another member point out my friend you have done bad deal?
shoot me People go head please

[JimR]

Sham, I wouldn't say that it's American culture no tot tell people they made a mistake, but some people might hesitate to do it because they don't want to hurt someone's feelings. But the problem is, telling people they made a mistake in a friendly way. This is important in any culture, I imagine.

Can I ask, what is your home culture? If it's too personal, I certainly don't mean to pry. I'm curious about immigration and the people who choose it, as I'm an immigrant myself.

[Bart]

Sham, I have no clue what culture you belong to, but I wholeheartedly agree. People form Western cultures are generally very uptight about their reputation. In some countries, "reputation" seems everything...
They even go as far as equiping entire forums with "green dit"-functionality in order to install the tyranny of reputation to which we all have to bow in this world.
Personal perception and personal networking are the things that are important in our Western society today. We spend more time working on the facade than we are actually trying to become our better selfs.

It's a sad evolution.
But not everyone is willingly cooperating.

Here's a fine example of a recent thread were people had the courage to share positive criticism. I believe the originator was happy with the responses and his future work will surely benefit from it.
http://straightrazorpalace.com/works...refurbish.html

Best regards,
Bart.

[gugi]

Hmm, I tell people they made or are about to make a mistake all the time. I seldom word it that way, but the meaning is pretty clear (at least to those who can be helped, because not everybody can ).

Not sure which thread you are referring to, but sometimes I see that the new members who are giving advise just don't know better either. There's nothing wrong with this, of course, I'm yet to see a person be left to do things in their wrong ways, sooner or later one of the more senior members would notice the discussion and bring it up.

[hi_bud_gl]

i am from south of Russia.
JImr i have been leaving in usa more then 12 years. I have seen in here people doesn't want to hurt other people's feeling.I know that is nice not to hurt another person's feelings.etc
Trust me i am not rude person.
i just have seen at least 4-5 times in here srp new guys made mistake and paid more then it needs to for the item. Now you read all replies to his thread include experienced straight razor users replies everyone says it is a good deal?
This is confuses me.Why?
why not to tell the truth to person ? we are adults and should be able to accept our mistakes learn from it.
I have nothing against immigration .I never choose to immigrate to another country.
i never learned english language until i end up in usa. I don't know what happen and how.I only know God knows.I start learn english when i was 30.
I posted this just wanted other people's opinions.i wanted to understand.that is the only reason.

[gugi]

oh, if it refers to paying too much that's a different thing in my opinion. especially when things happen on ebay. my reasons are
(1) there just isn't a fixed price for most of the stuff - it's a supply and demand in a niche market, so things fluctuate orders of magnitude.
(2) people value their time differently - if i see something i really want on ebay, spending weeks or months to hunt it down for the lowest possible price is just a bad deal for me, i'd rather just bid the maximum amount i'm willing to pay and if i win it be done with it.
(3) if somebody pays too much for item A, that leaves them with less amount of money to compete with me on item B - yes it's most certainly not in my interest for them to have too much money. on the other hand this means that other people start thinking items A are worth a lot so in the future I may have to pay more when bidding on another instance of item A.
(4) people tend to overestimate their abilities and sometimes it's just impossible to convince them that what they're doing is stupid. or in more politically correct phrasing, some people just learn better from their mistakes, than from those of others

I always tell people that their best option is not ebay, but most of them are not very good at math and/or counting all factors in and end up with a bad deal. At the end of the day that's just natural selection - the smart ones get rewarded and the not so smart ones don't

How's this for some not too feelings-considerate phrasing?

[ZethLent]

Having been raised in Canada (a very multicultural nation) and now living in a Japan (an extremely unicultural (real word??) nation) I see a lot of differences.

I found and still assume it is true, at least in my case, that there is a high degree of criticism where I am from. The need to correct one's own or anothers actions is often felt to be imperative by many. Thus informing someone of a mistake that they may have made is nearly an absolute. The way one goes about this is another issue entirely.

I would tell a sibling that they did something wrong instantly, without hesitation. But I wouldn't do that with a coworker. That is where 'constructive criticism' comes into play. And like Jim said it usually needs to be finessed so that little or no harm is delt.

Now, in Japan it is different but the same. There is a lot of finessing and apologizing. No one really wants to offend but when it comes to physical appearance, very little regard is given to someones feelings. Someone could go from near grovelling trying to point out an error to saying something like 'wow, your really have gained a lot of wieght!' It is odd, where feelings are hurt or not hurt. I would never say something like that to someone. But here physical appearance is often commented on wouthout any finesse.

Also if someone paid too much for something and are happy with it, well rather than say 'you paid way too much', I personally would think good for you for getting something that you wanted. Use it in good health. Just my way.

[Leighton]

Pricing is an agreement between two people. They got what they bargained for. Now if there was fraud involved....

But other than any misdeed on the part of either party, the two people should be left alone as to how they decided to make their deal. Its not my place to say you paid too much or otherwise criticize someone's prices. Now if someone asked me before they bought something, I will give my opinion, but its just an opinion from one person, its really meaningless in the larger shceme of things.

[hi_bud_gl]

this is not personal .i wanted to understand. in my mind i think differently.I never will hurt anyone intentionally(may be have done so many times without noticing).
it is not just about 1 post.this is about what i have seen in here more then 6 months.
I think if someone comes in here and says i bought this or that is this a good deal ?
they are asking for help to find out what they have done right or wrong?
We who knows the approximately prices have to say yes it is a good or bad deal not to be afraid we will hurt that person's feelings?
I had problem with myself just accepting this ,To tell everyone hey you got already great deal.you wanted you get it doesn't matter what it cost you?in this case he learns nothing at all.
it was confusing and i wanted to hear from you guys i am hopeful more people will come forward and let their opinions go.

[Leighton]

this is not personal .i wanted to understand. in my mind i think differently.I never will hurt anyone intentionally(may be have done so many times without noticing).
it is not just about 1 post.this is about what i have seen in here more then 6 months.
I think if someone comes in here and says i bought this or that is this a good deal ?
they are asking for help to find out what they have done right or wrong?
We who knows the approximately prices have to say yes it is a good or bad deal not to be afraid we will hurt that person's feelings?
I had problem with myself just accepting this ,To tell everyone hey you got already great deal.you wanted you get it doesn't matter what it cost you?in this case he learns nothing at all.
it was confusing and i wanted to hear from you guys i am hopeful more people will come forward and let their opinions go.

Oh! You want to know why we either don't answer questions about price or say something generic?

If I understand you correctly. I personally think that it is absolutely none of my business to quote prices on something. I am not a dealer, I know more than the average person, but I'm not an appraiser. I could be giving people completely wrong information, so I don't answer. Unless I have a good knowledge of what I'm talking about, I try not to say something. Sometimes I'm wrong, but I try.