Resistance/Scrutiny/Interference from spouse?

Thank goodness my wife and daughters only think I'm half crazy about enjoying my daily shave. I've been puzzled and somewhat annoyed when I read in the forums that some poor guy's wife has decided it's her right to approve or disapprove any or all aspects of the guy's shaving interests.

After (?) decades of being married, neither she nor I have EVER assumed any authority to question or grant approval related to one another's cosmetic/hygiene/shaving needs, rituals, practices, and purchases.

We regularly see posts where some guy's spouse has taken control over how he shaves and what he shaves with, and the guy's being forced to justify his shaving. Horse****! Are these folks in need of some marriage counselling, or what!!

All of this has resulted in a question, and I admit I don't know the answer because I'm a guy and have never had an opportunity to investigate. Here's my question: Are there any, and if so, how many, internet websites devoted to female cosmetics/grooming/hygiene, etc?

I get the impression that spouses consider it "nutty" for a guy to visit and/or participate in a shaving website. Do any of us here consider it nutty for a female to have the ability to go online and read about products and practices that they can use to enhance their grooming/shaving/hygiene, etc.?

I'd like to take this opportunity to just state how lucky I am to have a spouse who, when I get a package, will say, Oh, you got a package! What is it? Does it smell/look pretty? Nice!/Yuck!

And her stuff? It's for sale EVERYWHERE! And none of it's cheap, is it?She doesn't normally even mention what she buys or uses, and I certainly don't ask! If she's happy, buddy, then you bet I'm happy!

My wife used to do Mary Kay - parties and sales and such. The first time she saw me show some of my buddies a bunch of my razors, strops, and stuff, she said "wow, Mary Kay for razors" hehe

Ideally I don't think spouses should have to hide stuff from each other, but practically, they both need to be in agreement on that for it to work

Is this a shaving thread or a marriage thread? :hmmm:

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Originally Posted by hoglahoo

My wife used to do Mary Kay - parties and sales and such. The first time she saw me show some of my buddies a bunch of my razors, strops, and stuff, she said "wow, Mary Kay for razors" hehe

Ideally I don't think spouses should have to hide stuff from each other, but practically, they both need to be in agreement on that for it to work

Is this a shaving thread or a marriage thread? :hmmm:

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I think if you've got something to hide from your spouse, then you need to fix that problem. I think the analogy to Mary Kay is great!

PS: you're in Woodward, right? Do the old-timers still refer to it as "Woodard"? I used to go there on business all the time, and always enjoyed being there.

It always gets me when a guy comes into the tattoo shop and has to ask his wife or girlfriend if he can get the tattoo he wants as if she was his mother.

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Originally Posted by hoglahoo

My wife used to do Mary Kay - parties and sales and such. The first time she saw me show some of my buddies a bunch of my razors, strops, and stuff, she said "wow, Mary Kay for razors" hehe

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How long till you get a pink razor, as a reward for your numerous razor sells?

Charlie

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Originally Posted by hoglahoo

My wife used to do Mary Kay - parties and sales and such. The first time she saw me show some of my buddies a bunch of my razors, strops, and stuff, she said "wow, Mary Kay for razors" hehe

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:rofl2:

Thats funny.

My wife, likes my face smooth and she likes that A/S that I use. She now shaves with a straight.

Admittedly when I first started when I was in college she was a little concerned especially when I put an ear to jaw slash in my face. Other than that she is ok with all the sharp stuff I have in the house. Being from the near south I have a thing for knives and having worked in kitchens for so long she is used to my quirks. It happens from repeated exposure to alcohol and no sleep.

I say let her make fun, she will come around and as far as women's shaving, JimR had a thread around here about an old barber in Japan that still does facial shaves for women. He said that it stemmed from the Kaibuki (sp) days of wanting a "flat" surface to apply makeup.

And other than Mary Kay, Tupperware, and Passion Parties I cannot think of another way that women go about personal stuff. Remember women are borg:borg: they have a hive mind and get together with other women. Guys, well to use a broad brush we are mostly loaners. It sorta seems, puffy to ask another guy... well imagine this conversation.

"Hey, buddy, you smell good, what is that?" "Your face looks so smooth, what do you use?"

"Where am I?"

"Your in the emergency room with a broken nose."

Maybe thats me, but I see it happen all the time with women, except they don't end up in hospital after the exchange.

The only reason I can think of that a spouse is justified in objecting to our shaving purchases, is money, if finances are tight. I think most of us know what RAD/HAD is like. I just put together a spreadsheet of the small razor collection I've put together in the last month. Those "inexpensive" razors for restoration purposes add up quickly I've found. No more razor purchases for me for a while.
Kent

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Originally Posted by spazola

How long till you get a pink razor, as a reward for your numerous razor sells?

Charlie

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As soon as I figure out how to get rid of Steve, the guy down the street who now lives in a house built of pink coticule for beating me out ten years in a row

:gwh:

I think the problem is many guys have a relationship where they are all too glad to have the wife basically act like his mommy and tell him what he can and can't do. Once that happens the guy is reduced to just a drone. Sorry if that seems harsh and I'm not trying to disrespect anyone out there but that's how I see it.

I've been married 33 years to the same gal and both my wife and I have our own discretionary funds and we can do whatever with it. With everything else its a 50-50 relationship.

As pointed out above, if the financial aspect of it should be observed. My other half does the finances, she is an accountant. For me its more akin to asking if I can afford it.

If it works for that individual couple, who are you to pass judgment on it? Granted you (and I) would never stand for such a relationship dynamic, but that doesn't make it any more or less valid to the percentage of couples that choose to partake in those relationships.

I doubt any of those guys need to be pitied. They're all adults, fully able to choose how their marriages work.

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Originally Posted by Psicko

As pointed out above, if the financial aspect of it should be observed. My other half does the finances, she is an accountant. For me its more akin to asking if I can afford it.

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Exactly the same for me. My wife handles the money, and she's darn good at it, so when I want to make a major purchase, I ask/tell her.

And so far, my wife has not ONCE said "No." A couple of times she has said, after a long, level look, "Are you sure?"

At which point I say "No, no, it can wait..."

Smooths the rails a bit, knowing when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em.

In conversation the other day one of the guys mentioned he had read an article about a marriage longevity study. Apparently the only thing they could find statistically significant about marriages that lasted the long haul, was that the guy folded when push came to shove. I have no source to list, so I have no idea how valid the study was. Just thought it was interesting. :)

I don't have to many problems with it... Just, when i started with str8 shaving i bought a bunch of razors at once, spending alot of money..and she of course "didn't like it:)"...like i wouldn't like it if she spended a huge amount of money with a bunch of shoes..or even worst..with only one pair:)! Now, that my RAD is pretty much controled..but sometimes "Ops!".. i try to sell one or another razor to buy others..or just get some "extra money" not buying other things that i would like to..like beer!.. kidding! Just trying to be "reasonable and conscious" in spending money.
Now shes only "jealous" when i pay to much attention to the razors..cleaning, honing..in the SRP.. but she gets over it very quickly:).

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Originally Posted by JimR

Exactly the same for me. My wife handles the money, and she's darn good at it, so when I want to make a major purchase, I ask/tell her.

And so far, my wife has not ONCE said "No." A couple of times she has said, after a long, level look, "Are you sure?"

At which point I say "No, no, it can wait..."

Smooths the rails a bit, knowing when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em.

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Sounds like a wise course of action. One thing I've learned, maybe had to re-learn a few times, is that when she says, "do you think we could ..." I should listen carefully, think it over, and pleasantly respond, with that magic phrase, "yes, I think that is a good idea." I can think of a number of times I have given the wrong answer.

This is one hobby my wife has had no problem with at all and even encourages me:-) If I find a razor that is very attractive she wants to see the picture and actually appreciates them.
I get a Caswell & Massey catalog and while I don't buy much from them she has discovered it and orders ladies products from it. I even got her to try a DE and now she's a convert to those and swipes my mint shave cream from time to time--LOL!

When we married 38 years ago we agreed that one of us would not spend over a certain amount without consulting the other. It has worked well for us all this time. Such an arrangement also allows for a "cooling off" period and discourages large impulse purchases, and makes one consider if the purchase is really worth the discussion, from a timing stand point if no other.
While she questions if any item as mundane as a razor or shaving brush could possibly be worth $300, there have been items she wanted that I've questioned also.
We have shared "doing the books". At one time I was traveling alot and she took over. Later when she was too busy, or just tired of it, I took care of the money. Most of the banking is now on line, and as I have better computer skills I now handle the money. Lots of ways to skin the cat.
She does think I'm a bit nuts for shaving with a straight razor. On the other hand she tells all her friends, so I know there is no hidden resentment.

My girlfriend has never said anything against my shaving habits, or all the various bits and bobs that go along with it. She calls them my "man products"..!

Actually, when I was on SRD the other night looking at the Shaptons I ended up buying she told me to go for it. The reason being that I have an old razor at home that I want to restore and she's fed up with it lying around..! I guess as long as I keep an out of condition razor lying around my RAD/ HAD habits can go unabated...!

"Sorry, I need some Naniwas now, this blade doesnt like the Shaptons..."
"Now I need a new strop, mine is only 2" wide..."

She's off to Chicago tomorrow for a week and I've armed her with the buy/dont buy lists from the Wiki..! I wonder what she'll find in the antique stores over there...?

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Originally Posted by Hawkeye5

She does think I'm a bit nuts for shaving with a straight razor. On the other hand she tells all her friends, so I know there is no hidden resentment.

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My wife would agree to your statement and she does the same thing. She told her dad and brother. Her brother has recently converted to a straight and my father-in-law, who hates shaving, is giving me his great grandfather's straight razor. He did not have much information on it but said I should be receiving a package in a few days. I will post some pictures of it soon.

On a side note, my wife is now fully onboard with me shaving with a straight razor, she likes the idea of me be fully in control. That should give you some insight to her thoughts of me buying a motorcycle

Better not be any resistance to my shaving hobby or its "BANG" "ZOOM" "TA DA MOON" (Jackie Gleason)(The honeymooners)

What she doesn't know can't hurt (slice) her.

This is a bad time for me but i just wanted to tell you all about how it worked for me and my ex/girl. I had started picking it up a year after we first started dating and she loved it. I never really cared about my beard but she hated it and as soon as I started shaving right and enjoying it are sex life jumped and that made me very happy. so here is my thought just stop shaving and keep kissing her when it gets to the point were she cant take it anymore she will give you your freedom back.

P.s. this will only work if hates nasty beards.