Thebigspendurs Weekly Shaving Brainbuster #29

[thebigspendur]

Good morning shaving fiends

Well, we told that Mr Vice President he’d better talk and come clean otherwise we would turn him over to baaaby. He said my relations hadn’t lived there for years. That was a top secret Govt research station where they tried to breed smart chimps by combining DNA from all kinds of animals to give them special traits. He said George Bush was originally one of those chimps and was the first real success story they had. It was so successful he took on a human appearance but every now and then he would do something dumb. He said that was how he managed to avoid being hit by that shoe in Iraq. It was those animal like reflexes he has. He added that they would lock him up in the White House and just let him out when they needed him. He also had this strange craving for bananas and coconuts.

We led him out to the back and he showed us around and told us this one chimp was trained to be a barber and had already won numerous shaving contests. He said the chimp was so good he would let him be shaved by that chimp with a straight razor. Well that was the darndest thing I ever did see. That chimp gave the closest shave I ever thought possible. Why he even had his own custom made Bill Ellis Razor with coconut wood scales and it was this huge wedge almost three inches across. Just then as the chimp was finishing up by trimming Mr Vice President’s neck Festus pulled out a bowl of Great Spirit Shaving Soap and gave it to the chimp. Wow, that chimp went crazy he must have had some elk DNA in him. Why he cut Mr Vice president’s head clean off.

We got out of there fast.

Well we can’t head back the way we came because the lake is melted so how are we going to get back? I think the only way is to head west to Alaska and then go south otherwise we will have to wait here until the ice freezes up again or wait until the spring and head east.

So the decision was made to head west. We were able to get one of those black SUV’s so we’re traveling in comfort now. Baaby was in the back and the missus and I were in the Studebaker. I noticed some commotion in the back of the SUV and we all stopped and dang it if Festus hadn’t gone back to the animal house and grabbed a few chimps. He got the one who fancies himself a barber and another one who can talk and likes to sing “old man river” over and over. Jethro said he has an idea and when we get back he’s gonna open up a barber shop and fleece the customers with the chimp barber and have the other entertain the customers. He’s going to have an organ grinder routine but the chimp will play the grinder and he’ll have to find some hapless human to play the chimp. Everyone looked at Festus.

Well we have a long way to go and we have to evade those guys wearing their underwear and come to think of it we have to cross the border.

So the shaving brainbuster will ask you if we will have problems with the talking and singing chimps err no not the clan, the real ones. Someone said Alaska doesn’t go straight into the U.S we will have to go back into Canada again, is that true? Can we get an airline to fly us all back? Can we take that razor the chimp has on the plane? Can we check the 50 cal and the dynamite as luggage? Festus says worse comes to worse he’ll put the dynamite in his underwear. He says no one would ever do something like that and no one would ever figure it out either.

Check back on Friday for the monkey business.

[thebigspendur]

Tsk,Tsk no smart answers eh? You guys disappoint me.