Thebigspendurs Weekly Shaving Brainbuster #33

[thebigspendur]

Good morning shaving fiends

Well, finally we are approaching the U.S Border and you know what? Those nice folks had the place all decorated with flashing multi colored lights just to welcome us back to the good old U.S.A. Why there were all kinds of guys dressed in funny suits waving at us with strange letters on them. Some said DEA, some said ATF, some said Customs, Some said FBI, Some said Army, some said Fish and Wildlife and on and on. They even had all kinds of fancy military airplanes flying around Even the Red Cross was there giving out coffee and donuts and sandwiches. Wow, we really felt important. Mr Sasquatch said it’s to welcome me, the singing chimp said, no it’s to give me a singing award, Festus said no it’s for me because I’m so smart, Baaby said look at all those he-men.

Festus said he wanted a chocolate donut and they hit him over the head with a truncheon. Well, they handcuffed us all and some dude said when they get finished with us we would all wish we were dead. Why they even handcuffed the chimps and the horse and the goat and Mr Sasquatch. Then this dude starts reading this list of charges why he was reading for hours and then slaps Festus upside the head, something about crimes against nature.

Just then as they were loading us all into police trucks this convoy of Canadian Military guys drive up and there’s all these Canadian Helicopters and this guy comes out and says he’s some big general and another guy who says he’s the Prime Minister. He asks the dude where they are taking us. He says they have all been approved for immediate execution. He says execution? Why these guys are national heroes. They probably saved millions of lives both here and in Canada. That dude says what you talking about? The PM says why when we sent crews into that power plant it turns out someone had rigged it to blow up and when the water from the cooling pond was sent into the plant there would have been this massive nuclear detonation. It seems they rigged the control rods so when they were pulled the explosion was averted even though the plant did begin to melt down. He wanted to know how we knew all about this. Mr Sasquatch said he knew. So they unloaded us from the paddy wagon and we got into a plush Canadian helicopter with the Prime Minister. Festus asked if he could have a chocolate donut. The PM slapped him upside his head.

So in addition to giving us a full pardon they gave us all these medals and had a big banquet for us and put us on a Military Transport Plane and took us home.

I guess there was a lot of notoriety about us because when we got home The Governor was there to give us the Key to the state and all this media types were there. Festus asked the Governor for a chocolate donut and he slapped Festus upside his head.

The missus and I couldn’t stay long we had to get home so I told Jethro I’d contact him tomorrow.

When we got home the place was a mess. I asked the General what was going on. He didn’t say anything he just gave me that look like I owed him money or something. The next-door neighbor stopped by and says the General had gone berserk and had impregnated every cow in the county.

The shaving brainbuster for this week concerns a present the Canadian Govt gave Jethro. They gave him a matched pair of straight razors with Ivory Scales made from something called Narwhale. The razors are made from cast iron since they haven’t discovered steel yet in that primitive country. How would he hone a cast iron razor and what is narwhale. On the back of the razor it says Pakistan.

Also, Festus says to warn all of you never, ever shave with a straight while eating a chocolate donut.

Hmm, I seem to have a craving for a chocolate donut.

Check back on Friday for the messy answers.

Oh yea I almost forgot, since we didn’t give away the shaving prize last week we need to do that this week. So, the first person to correctly answer this question will win. The question is, you know that mysterious Japanese Naval Aviator who was lurking the hallways of the prison asking about his razor?

He was a Fighter Pilot during WWll so if he was a Kamikaze pilot towards the end of the war what was the model of the plane he was probably flying and who manufactured it? (The popular name for the plane will do here)

[GardenWeasel]

The Mitsubishi Ki-67 Hiryū (飛龍, "Flying Dragon"; Allied code name "Peggy")??

[Kees]

Aircraft name: Yokosuka MXY-7 Ohka. Manufacturer: Yokosuka, Kasumigaura Naval Air Arsenal.

It was usually carried underneath a Mitsubishi G4M "Betty", Yokosuka P1Y Ginga "Frances" (guided Type 22) or planned Nakajima G8N Renzan "Rita" (transport type 43A/B) bombers to within range of its target; on release, the pilot would first glide toward the target and when close enough he would fire the Ohka's rocket engine and guide the missile towards the ship that he intended to destroy. The final approach was almost unstoppable (especially for the type 11) because the aircraft gained tremendous speed.

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ohka

[thebigspendur]

Well, you guys gotta watch that Mr. Kees, he's a very smart and wiley guy. He's the winner. So shoot me an E-mail and we'll discuss your prize.

Stay tuned this weekend for the next installment of the shaving brainbuster.