Thebigspendurs Weekly Shaving Brainbuster #34

[thebigspendur]

Good morning shaving fiends.

Well, I walked into the barn with my Louisville Slugger to have a serious talk with the General. He wasn’t there, something about having to visit all of his new girlfriends. I asked my next-door neighbor Cyrus Kadedelhopper if he saw the General. You have to be careful what you say to Cyrus because he is a Military Veteran from the Korean War and when the first wave of Chinese Volunteers overran their positions he panicked and ran and was tried for cowardice and sentenced to be hanged but the rope broke so they had to let him go but the experience left him kind of crazy. He has this thing about rope of any kind. Apparently he came over to the ranch while we were gone to check on things and when he saw the General tied up he cut the rope and took the General out and told him to enjoy himself and the General not being one to not do as he was told did just that. I told Cyrus he had caused a lot of trouble. He just gave me kind of a crazed look. I told him “they are coming” and he ran off. He did say though I had better go into town and talk to Deputy Buttkiss because he was really mad.

So, I went into town to talk to the Deputy. He said because he tasered everybody at the propane depot they were blaming him for the explosion there and since the Mayor owns the place they were threatening to fire him. I told him it was neither my fault nor the clan’s and he never should have used those heavy handed methods. He said I haven’t heard the last of this.

I stopped by the Post Office to talk to our Post Mistress Geraldine Halfwitte. I wanted to rent a larger box but she said Jethro had been in earlier and rented all the large boxes she had. He told her he was expecting a lot of stuff in to set up his shaving shop. I stopped by the mayor’s office, his honour Hernando Gonzalez-Soto-Izqierdo-Robledo-Gomez-Perro-Galindo-Derecho-Simpatico De Bush (his family owned the whole town through some Spanish Land-Grant in the 1600s but we just call him Chee-Chee) and he told me he told Jethro he would never give him a permit to allow some monkey to give shaves to people with a straight razor because it was against the health codes. A Disposable was OK though. He also wanted to know who the big 9 foot tall guy was who was with him. I said oh him? He’s the cashier and bouncer for the shop. He said bouncer for a barber shop? He also wanted to know what’s with the monkey singing those songs.

Well I went over to the new shop and they were still putting the finishing touches on everything. They had a couple of old style barber chairs they got from Sue’s resurrected House of the Dead and some old style manually operated ceiling fans and a wood burning towel warmer.

I was about to leave when Jethro and Auntie walked in. Auntie had set up a snack bar in the back and was going to be selling her moonshine and some meat pies made from local rodents and Festus was training Baaby to give real personal messages (if you know what I mean) to the customers. Cletus was busy putting the finishing touches on the place and spreading sawdust on the floors. He had also made a bunch of strops for the place made from mouse hide he had pieced together. Post Mistress Halfwitte came in with a big package of straight razors that just came from that famous honemeister in Ohio. (What’s his name?)

Festus had some bowls he used to feed the animals and was going to be using them as lather bowls and Jethro had sent Mr Sasquatch out to the badger city to catch some of the critters to get their hair for some brushes. It was getting late and he hadn’t returned so Festus and I went out to see what happened. We got to the Badger City and there he was, why he had…

So the question for this week’s brainbuster concerns Post Mistress Halfwitte. She wanted to know if they would do shaving for ladies. So how did women shave those areas that needed to be shaved. What did they use back in the day?

Check back on Friday for the hairy answers.

[hoglahoo]

What did they use back in the day?

they used sharks with freakin' laser beams attached to their heads

[thebigspendur]

Actually women used straights also and later on DE's. Boudoir razors they called them.

Check back this weekend for the continuing adventures...