Thread: Thebigspendurs Weekly Shaving Brainbuster #38

Good morning shaving fiends

Well, with all the fighting and agitation outside the shop they never did open so that was put off until the next day. Festus had to clean the street from all the blood and vomit that was left there.

The next morning I made a bee line for the shop. I didn’t want to miss this for the world. When I arrived the singing chimp had played a joke on the shaving chimp and greased the floor with his…er.. um… you know what and the shaving chimp fell and broke his leg so Jethro said no problem. He just switched the two chimps. The shaving err singing chimp just yelled and cranked the organ and when Festus stopped dancing he just started kicking him in the butt. The singing chimp err shaving chimp was just waiving that humongous razor around laughing. I could see chee-chee coming down the street for his first free shave. Mr Sasquatch said I’m getting the hell out of here I can’t stand the sight of blood.

There was a knock at the door and when I opened it there was no one there so I hear another knock and open it again damn smart alicky kids I thought but no, when I looked down it was two badgers. They said they were assigned to the shop to make sure no badger brushes were being used. They said they had a list and they were fanning out all over the country to check on everybody.

Well, another knock at the door. This time it was two guys. One said he was with the ASPTA or something like that and the other guy said he was from the Critter Humane Society. They went over to the two chimps and told them in no uncertain terms it was against the law to allow dumb animals to dance chained up, and cook food for humans and assist the barbers. Also they said it was against the law to have stuffed badgers on the counter or err until he went over to sample the fur and the badger bit all his fingers off. He tried to call 911 but we don’t have any 911 in New Mexico. To get the police we have to contact Sadie at the phone exchange however we don’t have any telephones so you have to use the telegraph but no one at the exchange even knows what a telegraph is. They just think it’s some clicking toy or something.

About that time I left the shop. I had to go back over to court to see the Judge. When I got there only the Judge and the General was there. He said some guys from the livestock board were there and presented him with a bill for $10,000 and if he couldn’t pay they were going to ship him off to Mexico to the bull fights. He was desperate for me to pay and I had to trade the cash for free shaves so all the charges were dropped and I took him back home. I told him I was going to take him over to spend some quality time with Baaaby. He said no anything but that.

The next day I went back into town to see Deputy Butkiss. After a thorough investigation of the incident they decided to charge him with police brutality and told him he would be fired and sent to prison. Yea he was real meek now. I dropped all the charges so now it seems he’s my best buddy.

When I got to the shop it was closed and there was police tape all around it. Postal Mistriss Halfwitte told me Honest Hakim and the Mayor went into the shop at the same time and argued who would go first and the Mayor let Hakim go first. Yes that shaving chimp err singing chimp got him in that chair and tied him into it real good and got a hot towel from the towel warmer which was set for “blast Furnace” and applied those towels and put the tape around his neck a tad har har too tight and unholstered his massive weapon and…no I can’t go on it’s just too terrible to describe the scene why it…

So the shaving brainbuster for this week concerns that custom razor. How would you make a 150/8s razor. What metal would be best and what grind would you use and what design for the toe would be best and what saying would you inscribe on the scales? Also if you use a badger brush and you hear a knock at your door and when you open it you see nothing, look down and you’ll see a couple of badgers with stern looks on their faces and they will be wearing a badge (har har badgers with a badge). I understand they have deputized some Woodchucks since they have almost as bad a disposition as Badgers do.

By the way starting April first if you go online to Badgerswithan attitude.com the badgers will be selling their own deluxe synthetic shaving brushes all handmade. All profits will go to the orphaned badger kids and widows in China. This summer they will sell human hair brushes. They say they get their human hair imported after the wild animals in Africa chow done on the people.

Check back on Friday for the horrible answers, why I think I’m going to be sick.

Sounds like a lawyer could make a mint around that place!

Hey Sunshine, you're not gonna make a 150/8 razor as they already exist:

YouTube - Emerson Tomahawk CQC-T shave test