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  1. #1
    The Hurdy Gurdy Man thebigspendur's Avatar
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    Default Thebigspendurs Weekly Shaving Brainbuster #39

    Good morning shaving fiends.

    It was Saturday morning and I was in the living room listening to my favorite radio program, The Lone Ranger. Yea Tonto had gone into town to check things out and as usual got his butt whipped real good and…well there was a knock at the door and it was the Warden from, the State prison and he had the Preacher with him. (You remember the preacher was arrested for murder after he sicked that Black Mamba on Hakim’s relation Saladin causing his demise).

    He said the Preacher had apparently been collecting rattlers out in the yard and had about 20 of them in his cell and when the other inmates complained they sent an extraction team in to clean the cell out and he commanded those critters to attack the team. So the whole team is out on sick leave and the other inmates started a riot which the Preacher took control of and he had to invent some reason to let him go early to quell the riot.

    So we hit the road in the Studebaker to get the preacher back to his “church” which was just some ramshackle shack out in the middle of nowhere. I noticed a commotion on the state highway and jethro was standing there. Somehow he had the drivers of a UPS and Fedex truck in to the shop for a shave and I don’t know what he told them but as soon as they got out of the shop they started a fistfight (those guys really hate each other) and though they left town to do their route apparently Jethro had Cletus sabotage their trucks so when one was passing the other they collided and they jumped out and started really thumping on each other. In the carnage Jethro and Cletus drove away in the trucks. They emptied them out and left them abandoned and stashed the goods and headed back to town.

    So we took the two of them to Doc Paine to get patched up and I guess they fired the Fedex guy because he couldn’t lick the UPS guy and they promoted the UPS guy to a manager.

    So I dropped off the Preacher and went into town and went into the shop and as I went in they were trying to figure out what to do with honest Hakim. That singing err shaving Chimp had scalded him and strangled him and then slit his throat. Deputy Buttkiss arrested them all. Mr Sasquatch and I cleaned the place up. About that time this black helicopter landed next to the city jail and these guys identified themselves as CIA Agents and we figured they were going to take the whole clan. They told the deputy they’ve been tracking Honest Hakim and his brother for years and they had heard about this strange barber shop and what had happened. They said Hakim was really Saddam Hussein and that they had executed a body double in Iraq. They took the clan to Washington so the president could give them all a medal.
    Once there while they were waiting for the ceremony Jethro offered to give the President a free shave however he declined the offer. The shaving Chimp got offended and whispered something to the singing chimp and the singing chimp spilt the beans and said they remember when they were in a zoo in Africa they distinctly remember the President and his family always coming to the zoo as a very young child. The President produced his birth certificate. Mr. Sasquatch examined it and said it was a clever forgery. They said how do you know that? He said I know everything.

    While they were in Washington seeing the sights there was no one around to run the shop so to get a good clientele we got my neighbor Cyrus to come over and while we were talking he told me he used to be a barber in the military so we dressed him up in a monkey suit and had him giving shaves and haircuts and he did a great job. By the end of the week we had a line down the block to get into the shop. The two badgers manned the cash register. There were a couple of deputized woodchucks helping with the messages but they were in a sour mood. Something about some tongue twister about chucking wood.

    I got a call from Jethro in Washington and he told me the President….

    This week’s shaving brainbuster concerns the one year anniversary of the shaving brain buster coming up pretty soon. What you say it isn’t a year yet? Well we’re on #39 and there are how many weeks in a year? I can’t count too high. At any rate there will be a big giveaway. There will be more details as we get closer as to the prize and the competition.

    So for this week the big question is a riddle-If the badgers have a badge and the President is not a U.S Citizen and a Drunken, crazy Korean war veteran Dressed in a monkey gives great shaves then…….. (you finish the rest)

    Check back on Friday for the whimsical answer.
    No matter how many men you kill you can't kill your successor-Emperor Nero

  2. #2
    The Hurdy Gurdy Man thebigspendur's Avatar
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    Default

    No answers? No interest? then no whimsy.
    No matter how many men you kill you can't kill your successor-Emperor Nero

  3. #3
    I Bleed Slurry Disburden's Avatar
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    Default

    I'm curious!

  4. #4
    The Hurdy Gurdy Man thebigspendur's Avatar
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    Curious eh? But no answer? I guess I'll have to pity you.

    The answer is...Everyone knows the President is a U.S Citizen and the badgers with their badges have certified it with their authority and it doesn't take anyone too swift to give someone a shave these days and the President knows that because he uses an Electric razor.
    No matter how many men you kill you can't kill your successor-Emperor Nero

  5. #5
    Never a dull moment hoglahoo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thebigspendur View Post
    there will be a big giveaway
    you got my attention, especially because I know you're a big spendur
    Find me on SRP's official chat in ##srp on Freenode. Link is at top of SRP's homepage

  6. #6
    Senior Member blabbermouth Kees's Avatar
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    Trying to crack this riddle bust my brain.
    Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose. Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr.

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