bman,
Here's my take on it. When I get onto the 4k, directly off the 1k, there's a bit of bump and grind going on. I can feel the razor and the stone interacting. It feels rough. There's also a good bit of metal either floating up as swarf, or embedding into the white of the stone. As you move into the 4k, you can feel in your fingertips the lessening of the bump and grind. You can also watch the water interact on the cutting edge, and see the amount of metal swarf taper off.
If found that slurry works well on the 4k, but for the sake of excluding that variable, here's how I get what I want out of the Norton 4k. Please keep in mind that above all, YMMV, you may need more or less strokes depending on the steel, your pressure, etc.
I start on the 4k, taped razor, clean water. 20 circles each way, medium pressure. Followed by 10 x strokes. 20 circles light pressure, followed by 10 x strokes. clean the stone, wipe the razor. clean water. 20 circles no pressure, 10 x's. 20 light circles, clean the stone, wipe the razor, fresh water. 10-15 no pressure, smooth X strokes.
While I'm doing this, I'm paying attention to the feel, and the look of the water at the cutting edge. Like I said, depending on the steel, I may need to knock some strokes off, or add a few on. I'm looking for smoothness on the stone, and water running up the cutting edge onto the blade.
This also is a general starting point, ie: if it's a rehone with no bevel set, I'll start with the no pressure circles and no pressure X's and see if that does the trick first.
I hope this helps a bit. Remember that honing is about 2 parts reading, 8 parts practice. Its difficult to describe exactly what you should look for or feel. I've tried. You'll develop a feel for it as you hone more and more razors.