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My wife loves to ask me questions when I'm stropping. Just have to start counting again, out loud, until I get to one hundred.

Learn to shave with distractions so that when it happens you don't cut yourself, or your in-laws.

To truely experience poverty you should buy a horse. But if you only want a taste of what it is like to be poor, start shaving with a straight razor as a hobby.

A duller razor gives worse cuts than a well honed razor.