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there is no absolute test to be able to tell which is harder, you can do the drop test and compare but it is not 100% accurate.
One other indication would be if your base stone does not get...

unless the slurry colors are different how can you tell which stone makes the slurry?
You say you get great edges using your hard tomonagura, why would you want to change?

The slurry should be as fine as the stone when you work it.

the tomonagura does not have to be finer than the base stone

No kanji on the tomonagura it is just a piece of stone.
Only nakayama Maruka have stamp on the side. I would think the kanji it is not meant to last, also many stones get lacquered on the sides for...

For razor honing, I used to use perforated DMT 1.2k for slurry making. I stopped using diamond plates long ago because I did not like the results very much, I use tomoagura exclusively now.
You can...