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I agree with what Tom is saying above.
I would still recommend the witch hazel or aloe over a balm. There are too many weird ingredients you don't know in those balms and you don't know how they'll...

I'd definitely recommend trying the witch hazel and avoiding your other aftershaves for now. An alum block would be good to have as well.
A softer brush may help, and it may not. Just lather gently...