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I have a pretty tough beard and found over the years the fastest way to soften it was a hot shower. While in the shower I use a shampoo/conditioner. I make sure I rub it into my beard as I rinse...

I use a pre-shave oil as well. If your soap is drying up too fast you probably need to add more water and whip the stuff up a bit longer. I started shaving with creams since they were easier for me...