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I know that the greatest deference is reserved for the founder of this site (something we are all grateful for) but can't we graduate some others? I know a couple guys that deserve the title....

It should cut hair at skin level at the least.

This is the hardest thing to convey to someone new because it's very difficult to tell someone what to look for. And even if language didn't fall short in this area, it would most likely not be...