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Before I visit the bordello

Ate him some scat

Lived on pie and garlic bread

There was a carbuncle choad named Billy

Straight razor shavers share one thing,
They like looking at tonsorial bling...
But their wives rant and rave ...
All the while they shave
Only wallets are feeling the sting.

Dieter said it was not

There once was a lobster from Berlin

There's a yellowjacket in my pants
At war with a gang of fire ants
A Rebel yell, a fearsome charge
welts on his loins were getting large
It's time to do the Humpty dance

A Rebel yell, a fearsome charge

There's a yellowjacket in my pants

There once was a Shearer from Hauppauge
Who plied her trade on a dog

The weasel bought a new phone
Cuz Mother Hubbard had no bone
Her cupboard was bare
Which left the weasel to stare
At Hubbard who lost muscle tone.

Her cupboard was bare

The weasel bought a new phone

You're hit with a fist of kryptonite

A list too long to tally

I bought me a farm in Goonengerry

The Khardashians are all over the news
Fake boobs and Louis Vuitton shoes
They consulted a Surgeon
He said," Ladies you're vergin' "
Which brings me back to the booze.

I'd prefer to be mildly drunk

Don't forget Boko Haram

That disease and war are swarming

(I will suggest a rule amendment: would it be possible to add one line per post at a time, but the poster of the final line post the complete limerick? I think this will hugely increase our...

In a sub human trance

My head was stove in by a chimp

I'll stare at my phone and lie low.