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Well to make the slurry do what its supposed to IMO the base stone should be a little harder so when you are honing, the base stone will crush the slurry smaller and smaller. Finer would be good as...

You can use any of your other stones to try as a tomo is a piece of stone(if its matched correctly it will be close to the main stone).

Depends on how hard the tomo is in comparison to your stone. I have 4 jnats and 2 tomos. My shuobodani is softer than one of the tomos that's why I got the second. Or you can get a dmt card in 600...