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I remember growing up and one day telling Moses not to toss the Lilac Vegetal on that bush but he did anyway and it instantly caught fire.

I knew a guy who loved the stuff so much he practically bathed with it. Unfortunately it seemed to react with the Sun and...

Poor fellow was never the same, he became "The Hedious Sun Demon".

I was wearing original today too. During my morning walk I was sitting on a park bench and I noticed this skunk staring at me. He was wearing a gas mask.

I put some original on today and went for a walk. I noticed a pesky Coyote following me and he had this look in his eyes.

I cut some guy off driving today and I noticed he had something pointed at me. I thought it was all over but he threw an opened bottle of Lilac Vegetal at me.

It was touch and go but after 8 hours...

Well, I'm just gonna go hang my head and.....:gth

I was gonna use the original today but if I did the city threatened to condemn my house.

Cocktails? Har har.

Just throw the stuff at them and watch them scatter.

Last night I was out and had some Clubman Bay Rum on so I get pulled over by some cop at a DWI checkpoint and he says "What's that awful stuff I smell in the car"? I said nothing really. So he orders...

I hear tell in one of the big postal hubs some disgruntled worker threw a gallon bottle of "The original" on the floor. They been cleaning with steam and the strongest cleaners know to man and it...

Better be careful with that stuff. A little too much can bring down a charging Rhino.

Har har.

My dog got my bottle of bay rum and buried it in the back yard somewhere.

Clarence Ashley & Gwen Foster:Bay Rum Blues Lyrics


Bay Rum Blues
This song is by Clarence Ashley and Gwen Foster and...

I like to put a heavy dose on when I go bear hunting. One wiff and they run and panic and usually run into a tree and knock themselves out which makes it very easy.

You realize of course the day after Ed Pinaud invented the stuff he died of some mysterious and horrible affliction.

We have had many reviews on Lilac vegetal but unfortunately after applying the stuff they all seem to have died a terrible, horrible death. As soon as I finish this I'm gonna get mine out of the...

Yes, I always wear my Lilac Vegetal when the skunks are overrunning the place. One sniff of me approaching and they either vacate at lightening speed or beg for mercy.