Thread: Locker Room Chat: Relative to What?

"You spend a long time shaving."
"Relative to what?"
"Takes me a minute."
"Then it is a long time."
"You must really like it."
"I do — the whole ritual."
"Don't have the patience — not me."
"Shaving with a straight razor is not for everyone."
"So what kind is that — your razor?"
"Thiers-Issard — French."
"Nice looking razor."
"Thank you. It's one of my favorites."
"Didn't know French made straight razors."
"The French make gorgeous razors. I have several. Love them all."
"I like French wines."
"Gorgeous wines, too."
"I get them shipped to me."
"Reminds of a story: You know Rossini, the opera composer, right?"
"Isn't that the Lone Ranger guy?"
"Yes, the gallop from the overture to his opera 'William Tell' was used as that Lone Ranger theme. Comes at the tail end of the overture."
"Yes, that's the one."
"Anyway . . . Baron James Rothschild sent Rossini some splendid grapes from his vineyard. Rossini wrote back and thanked him, adding, 'Splendid though your grapes certainly are, I don't take my wine in pills.' Well, Baron Rothschild got the message and sent Rossini some of his celebrated wine."
"That's a good story."
"Rossini was full of them."
"Pricey, though."
"What, French wines?"
"Yes."
"French razors are pricey, too."
"If I may ask, for instance, how much did that razor cost you?"
"Oh, I don't know, about three-hundred fifty dollars — with shipping and all."
"Phewww . . . that's a lot of money for a straight razor."
"Relative to what?"
"I don't know. My electric cost around, what, forty bucks."
"Then it is a lot. How does it shave, your electric?"
"Usually have to shave twice a day — if I'm going out at night."
"Well, I get my five o'clock shadow at ten at night."
"Really?
"Yes."
"Maybe I'll take up the straight razor."
"You'll need more than a minute, though."

Regards,

Obie