OK....I went down to my stockbrokers and cashed in all my IRA's and 401(k)'s...he advised against it and said I'll be taking a big tax hit and penalties, and I just told him 'The Hell with taxes and penalties....the internet just told me I have one more day to go! ...and if I've only got one more day to go, then I'm gong to need money and I'm gong to need it NOW!!'.
I sent a mass email to all my clients that said :
"Dear Sucker - I know that you have been a loyal client of mine for the last 15 years, but I just want to take this opportunity to tell you that, man, have I been screwing you over! Padding bills, fake billings, double billings...you name it, I've gotten into your fat wallet BIG TIME, and there's NOTHING you can do, because the internet just told me I've got one more day to go."
Then I went to my real estate agent, and sold them my house (they only gave me 10 cents on the dollar, but, I got the cash NOW)....I went to my wife's shop and drug her out of there kicking and screaming and I explained to her that the internet just told me I have one more day to go, and by God, we're going to spend that day in the finest luxury hotel room in the finest beach front hotel on the west coast. I've got her strapped in the car, the engine is running, and I just came in here to check out and tell all my shaving buddies goodbye, suckers, I never liked you guys, anyway!!!
See ya in the funny papers!!!
ONE MORE DAY TO GO....BUT IT'LL BE A DOOZIE
-whatever
-Lou