I commend you for your trying efforts.
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After a shower, the stuff I use is pretty good actually.
I won't use it for a staight shave though.
The oil in it seems to work against the hydration of my beard, (lack of water as you said) so for a multi-pass straight shave I don't like to use anything but a brush.
I sometimes use old stuff just to see what it's like in comparison, I'm still relatively new to shaving right. I tried a Gilette 2-blade disposable with Barbasol recently. LOL.
I smell smoke, wtf.