Well, it seems that for now at least, I am stuck with Paypal again.
Google's API is lacking in several areas.

I looked into 2checkout, and antiquities and sharp objects are restricted items so that's a no-go.
Authorize.net looks promising, but the account setup seems to be a real PITA. I am going to contact a rep tomorrow and see what I can do.

It seems that for someone that's selling a small amount of stuff, or someone like a classifieds user here doesn't have any good alternatives to Paypal.