First and thus far worst cut: I had been hand sanding a junk razor while watching TV, and gently sipping a glass or three of Port. Bowl of water in my lap for keeping the sandpaper wet and catching drips.

Between one sip and the next I glanced down and though "I don't remember spilling port into the water bowl"...

I had given myself an impressive slice across the pad of my thumb, despite the fact that I had knocked the edge off the blade. I didn't even feel it, though the port may be to blame for that