Thread: You've Got Skill!

I keep acquiring new skills, and every time I do it is the most important thing (at least on that day), otherwise I wouldn't bother acquiring it I guess...

If I look across my skill set and try to pick the most important to me, I would say it is my people skills. I just seem to get on with everyone, can feel empathy for pretty much everyone, and am generally able to "walk in their shoes". I'm non-judgemental and as a result people tell me things they otherwise wouldn't. And I'm very good at respecting their confidence.

Besides that, my most useful practical skill (for my job) would be my ability to read and understand/critique certain kinds of highly technical information very quickly. I also win awards each year for my lecturing, so I guess other people think I am good at that but to be frank with you guys I could live a contented life if I never had to give another lecture ever again.

Oh, and I have lurve skills too! No, not that kind - the kind where I can put myself second to my wife and support her when she needs it.

I could go on, but I don't want others to feel inadequate in my presence

James.

This sounds interesting, let me give it a go:

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.

I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.

Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets. I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after work, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat 400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.

I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.

I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four-course meals using only a Mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prize-winning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.

But I have not yet mastered the art of straight razor shaving!

Jeesus Phrank, you might just be the most interesting man in the world, why if you punched me in the face, I might just be tempted to apologize

Originally Posted by Mcbladescar

Jeesus Phrank, you might just be the most interesting man in the world, why if you punched me in the face, I might just be tempted to apologize

Bwahahaha! Thanks - just sprayed coffee all over the keyboard!!

Can I do mine again?

James.

Originally Posted by Jimbo

Can I do mine again?

James.

Sorry jimbo, Carl already has indecision as a skill.
Besides it is nice to know a bit about you, thought the bit about supporting your wife was nice.

By the Grace of Almighty God, I am what I am. Journeyman ironworker, expert carpet installer and not half bad at tattooing. He gave me any talent I have and if I've done anything in my life to glory in the glory goes to Him.

Originally Posted by JimmyHAD

By the Grace of Almighty God, I am what I am. He gave me any talent I have and if I've done anything in my life to glory in the glory goes to Him.

Jimmy hit this proverbial nail on the head for me and his elegance at writing it made me want to copy it. I've been blessed with the knack of picking things up quickly & getting pretty good at most anything I put my mind to. Literally, a jack of much, a master at very little.

Originally Posted by Mcbladescar

Jeesus Phrank, you might just be the most interesting man in the world, why if you punched me in the face, I might just be tempted to apologize

You made me choke so hard, I got a da*n cramp.

I finally acquired enlightenment.
I can catch trout on a hook that looks like a fly.
I can be laconic or sesquipedalian .
I can be fickle but have been straight shaving for 30 years.
I can see reflections in muddy water.
I can act without thinking or I can procrastinate.
.
I like large gluteus maximi & cannot fabricate falsehoods.

And...I can eat 50 eggs... in an hour.